1장
Beyond Command: The Art of Quiet Influence
Have you ever witnessed someone transform a heated situation with just a few words? In 1979, during a tense tennis match, 22-year-old Bjorn Borg demonstrated this rare ability. Facing John McEnroe's infamous temper, Borg simply put his arm around McEnroe's shoulders and said: "It's OK. Just relax. It's a great match." This brief, genuine gesture transformed McEnroe's rage into focus. Though McEnroe won the match, he gained something more valuable-a new perspective that improved his approach to tennis for years to come. This moment exemplifies quiet influence-strength without force, requiring neither title nor resources.
"The Art of Quiet Influence" by Jocelyn Davis has become required reading in leadership programs at companies like Microsoft, Google, and McKinsey. Praised by Daniel Pink as "a masterclass in authentic leadership," the book has sold over 200,000 copies worldwide since its 2019 publication. Its popularity reflects a growing recognition that traditional command-and-control leadership is increasingly ineffective in today's interconnected world.
2장
The Authority Myth: Power Without Force
The fundamental misconception many leaders have is believing their title alone enables them to execute ideas through commands. Authority isn't the same as power. Authority is the right to lead, while power is the ability to make things happen. As Harvard professor Linda Hill discovered in her research, new managers quickly learn the uncomfortable truth that they're evaluated on others' production, not their own.
Even well-intentioned authority-like giving "helpful" direction-can undermine influence. When I micromanaged a capable employee years ago, my "assistance" drove them away despite my good intentions. While command authority has its place in crises, it produces inferior, less sustainable outcomes than true influence.
The highest level of leadership impact comes from being a "mainspring"-the hidden element that enables the entire system to function. Like a clock's mainspring that moves other components without being visible, these leaders create essential impact without obvious effort.
Influence isn't about power-chasing through dominance (barons), rule-enforcement (legalists), or personal charisma (seducers). Nor is it about trading favors in an "influence market." True influence means co-creating better solutions through dialogue-what physicist David Bohm called "a stream of meaning flowing among and through and between us."
The word "influence" itself comes from "emanation from the stars," suggesting cosmic currents we might tap but never manipulate. This conception aligns with Eastern philosophical traditions that offer superior guidance for navigating today's VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world because they've always viewed reality as fluid rather than fixed.
Where Western thinking sees discrete objects, Eastern perspectives see fields and forces; where Westerners see autonomous individuals, Eastern thought recognizes defining relationships. The twelve Eastern sages featured in Davis's book understood that leadership means channeling natural flow, not forcing people against their nature-as futile as pushing water uphill.
3장
Inviting Participation: The Foundation of Influence
The first pillar of quiet influence is inviting participation-creating conditions where others feel genuinely included and valued. This begins with what Confucius called "ren" (humaneness), which he considered the most essential quality for any leader.
A "neighborhood suffused with a humane spirit" creates stability and belonging, while inhumane communities constantly leak humans. Confucius taught that humaneness has two aspects: zhong (doing one's best to fulfill one's humanity) and shu (recognizing others' humanity). This moral double-helix forms the foundation of all meaningful human interaction.
Humaneness isn't grandiose altruism but simple recognition of our shared human needs and desires. As Confucius summarized: being respectful, large-minded, trustworthy, quick in response, and generous leads to influence-you win hearts, earn trust, and get things done.
While some believe care doesn't belong in business settings, this view ignores our fundamental nature as social animals. Our need for acceptance is hardwired-"There is nothing in the whole world so painful as feeling that one is not liked," wrote Sei Shonagon. This need for belonging cannot be dismissed in professional contexts.
The story of Keith Bronitt illustrates how influence works beneath hierarchical structures. Though never my boss, Keith took genuine interest in my work as an editor, asking thoughtful questions about my process and preferences. This respect earned him my complete dedication-I prioritized his projects and went beyond requirements. Years later, when I could recommend him for client projects, I did so enthusiastically.
The Western approach to influence often centers on reciprocity-the human urge to return favors. Robert Cialdini's influential work presents influence as primarily economic: I support your idea today, you support mine tomorrow. This transactional view is appealing in commercial societies but fails in reality, where relationships matter more than transactions.
Research shows long-term influence depends on trustworthiness built through competence, humility, and cooperation. Interestingly, we tend to trust recipients of our favors more than those who do favors for us-the "Ben Franklin Effect." While Confucius acknowledges reciprocity's power, he emphasizes the goodwill generated by humane behavior: "If you are large-minded, you will win the hearts of the people."
4장
Embracing Objections: The Path to Deeper Influence
Most people instinctively try to overcome or dismiss objections, but master influencers counterintuitively "open the door wider" by encouraging more expression. This approach recognizes the fear and anguish behind objections and creates safety for honest communication.
The Hindu scripture Yoga Vasistha illustrates this principle through depressed teenage Prince Rama delivering a lengthy, anguished speech about life's meaninglessness. Surprisingly, rather than meeting his despair with dismissal, the assembled court responds with applause and admiration. The text's power lies in watching sage Vasistha spend three weeks fully engaging with Rama's existential pain-honoring rather than dismissing it.
Rather than immediately defending or explaining, effective influencers first make others feel it's acceptable to voice their concerns fully. Examples from professionals show effective ways to encourage objections: Galina Jeffrey drew in her Hong Kong assistant by asking questions like "Does that make sense?" before client meetings; Keith Bronitt suggests presenting action plans to team members and asking for feedback; and Christie Jacobs emphasizes avoiding assumptions about others' thoughts, which often stem from our own projections.
The Yoga Vasistha uses the image of a crow landing on a palm tree as a coconut falls to illustrate how we falsely connect events as causally linked. While Western thinking since Aristotle has favored linear causality (A causes B), Eastern philosophy sees complex webs of conditions rather than direct causes.
This difference affects how we handle objections-we often construct "just-so stories" where our ego stars, assuming we know what's wrong and how to fix it. True influence requires letting go of linear explanations and considering the complex conditions surrounding any situation before encouraging others to share their perspective.
5장
Creating Delight: The Climate of Influence
The feeling of working in a place-its climate-differs from culture in being more malleable and quickly changeable. While climate affects motivation, performance, and financial results, "managing" climate is the wrong approach. Rather than trying to control the six dimensions of climate (clarity, standards, commitment, responsibility, support, and recognition), Zhuangzi would recommend simply exuding appreciation and good cheer.
Instead of managing climate into positivity, we should just be positive about work, colleagues, and ourselves, letting climate naturally follow. Individual contributors-regardless of role or seniority-can be powerful climate creators, as illustrated by a young waiter named Cedric who transformed the atmosphere with a simple "You're doing a great job" to a struggling colleague.
Creating a positive climate doesn't mean forcing artificial harmony. Eastern philosophy was often misinterpreted in the West during the 1960s, producing an oversimplified "Kumbaya" version emphasizing warm feelings rather than authentic engagement. Zhuangzi wasn't naive about human nature, noting his recognition that the world can be "bloody-minded." True influence requires sharp intelligence and strategic thinking, not just being nice.
Zhuangzi shares the story of the cook carving an ox with perfect skill-finding the natural spaces between joints-as a metaphor for how climate creators navigate challenges with precision rather than force. A positive climate isn't imposed but nourished by those who approach their work with sharp intellect, satisfaction and good cheer despite difficulties.
6장
Patience and Shared Understanding
Rumi, the 13th-century Persian poet, offers profound insights on patience and receptivity through his poem "The Night Air." In this tale, a dying man instructs a judge to give his entire inheritance to whichever of his three sons proves laziest. The poem suggests that mystics excel at a particular kind of laziness-they observe the world around them without interference.
Rumi presents a meditation on speaking and listening, describing words as "coverings" for the inner self that require deep, multisensory listening to penetrate. True listening means perceiving what lies beneath surface communication, like detecting a crack in a clay pot by its sound. This receptivity-taking things in rather than dealing them out-requires patience and concentration.
In Rumi's tale "The Night Air," three brothers explain their approaches to understanding silent people. The eldest waits three days before intuiting understanding, representing patient observation. The second brother initiates conversation, showing active engagement. Both approaches have merit but are incomplete alone. Together they form the foundation of "Taking time to develop a shared understanding"-combining patience with dialogue.
The Martha Weld case study illustrates the failure to develop shared understanding. As an internal consultant with no authority over MIS managers, Martha sent a memo about data monitoring that received acknowledgment but no action. Her mistake was assuming a group existed when there was only a collection of individuals with distinct interests.
Western approaches often treat people as objects to be analyzed rather than subjects to learn from. This objectification creates a fundamental misunderstanding-while we're trying to manage others, they're managing us too. Western metaphors like "what makes her tick" or "getting inside his head" reveal this mechanical, invasive perspective.
Rumi offers an alternative view where "presences flow, evolve, and create in tandem." The youngest brother in "The Night Air" embodies this approach, setting up "a ladder made of patience" and allowing authentic connection to emerge naturally, creating "a window open between us, mixing the night air of our beings."
7장
Sharing Power: Converting Adversaries to Allies
Power sharing is the hardest yet most important practice for influencers. During the Control stage of group development, people become caught up in power struggles as initial excitement wanes and work proves more difficult than expected. By sharing power, quiet influencers reduce anxiety and increase confidence, moving groups beyond internal squabbling toward progress.
The Mahabharata tells the story of Princess Savitri, who follows the god of death Yama when he takes her husband's soul. Rather than merely begging, she strategically declares their shared path makes them friends, saying "The wise, seeing the truth, have declared a fellow walker to be a friend." She delivers thoughtful speeches on virtue that impress Yama, who offers her boons after each discourse. Though popularly remembered as a symbol of wifely devotion, Savitri's story is fundamentally about masterful alliance-building.
Relationships should be viewed along two dimensions: whether someone is with or against us, and whether that stance is conditional or unconditional. This creates four relationship types: friends (unconditionally with us), foes (unconditionally against us), allies (conditionally with us based on shared interests), and adversaries (conditionally against us due to conflicting interests). The line between ally and adversary is permeable, while the line between friend and foe is not.
This perspective reveals opportunities to convert adversaries to allies by finding alignment of interests, as Savitri did with Yama. The challenge isn't lacking relationship skills but failing to shift our perspective from seeing someone as a permanent enemy to seeing them as a potential ally. We must overcome our satisfaction in having enemies and recognize that most apparent foes are simply allies-in-waiting.
8장
Following Leaders: The Art of Supporting Others
The good follower is an unsung hero in organizations. While Western culture celebrates leadership with everyone rushing to "be the leader," real progress often requires most team members to be good followers most of the time. As Joan Bragar notes, "There is power in following, because that's where the motion comes from."
This practice remains underused in Western workplaces, where both men and women are conditioned to speak up and take charge. Supporting from the sidelines can feel unleaderly, yet high-performing teams often have leaders who step outside the circle rather than dominating it.
Sima Qian's historical accounts reveal how an unlikely leader-a crude, hard-drinking village headman-rose to become Emperor Gaozu, founder of China's Han Dynasty. Despite being surrounded by more impressive figures like the strategic Xiao He, the cunning Chen Ping, and the military genius Han Xin, this seemingly second-rate leader prevailed through his ability to recognize and support talent.
When Han Xin was tempted to betray Gaozu and return to his former master Xiang Yu, he refused because Gaozu had not only given him position and army but had "doffed his own garments to clothe me, gave me food from his own plate, listened to my words, and used my counsels." This illustrates how backing those who take the lead creates loyalty and momentum.
The legalist approach to power is exemplified by Qin Shi Huang, China's First Emperor, who took 26 years to end the Warring States era. Unlike status-seekers, he rejoiced that the world was "in profound order." He abolished feudalism for centralized bureaucracy with 36 provinces, standardized systems, codified punishments, and built the Great Wall. He also burned books and executed scholars who criticized his regime.
Though his methods worked briefly, they bred resentment. As Confucian scholar Jia Yi noted, the Qin "failed to rule with humanity and righteousness" and didn't realize "the power to attack, and the power to retain what one has thereby won, are not the same." The dynasty collapsed when a commoner named Chen She led a revolt that spread like "shadows and echoes," sweeping away the legalists' control.
9장
Fighting Softly: Influence in the Face of Aggression
When influence meets aggression, the tightrope between assertiveness and accommodation becomes crucial. In a 1990s training exercise, a female wilderness expert was repeatedly ignored by male teammates until they discovered her expertise too late. The incident reveals how those in minority positions face a double bind: appear too meek and be dismissed, too forceful and be rejected.
This dilemma was first deeply explored by Lady Murasaki in her masterwork, The Tale of Genji, where women navigate a highly restrictive society through subtle forms of influence. Born to an emperor and a lower-ranked lady, Genji rises to become lord chancellor and pursues numerous affairs. While Heian society allowed sexual freedom, women faced severe restrictions, literally screened from public view by blinds or curtains.
Women developed psychological jujutsu in response-the art of using an opponent's force against himself. Tamakazura, a teenager adopted by Genji who later tries to seduce her, exemplifies this resistance through tears, appeals to honor, and physical evasion.
Murasaki's character Tamakazura demonstrates the art of "fighting softly" a millennium before #metoo. Adopted by Genji who attempts to seduce her, then assaulted by nobleman Higekuro who becomes her husband, she appears a victim. Yet through what Genji himself calls a "virtuoso performance," she transforms her circumstances, emerging as mistress of a great household with noble status and unimpeachable reputation.
Her strategy embodies two jujutsu principles: accepting intractable power imbalances rather than wasting energy fighting them, and acting to serve interests rather than ego. Like fish caught in nets, those facing systemic constraints must either find allies for change or seek ways out. The soft technique requires adopting a "social" speaking style-friendly, animated, pleasant-which research shows enhances women's influence when combined with competence.
Seducers like Genji are unconcerned with the destruction they leave behind, focused only on maintaining their image as paragons. Despite the immense effort required, seducers will go to any length to preserve their illusion of perfection. Like influence-by-conquest and influence-by-edict, influence-by-seduction proves fleeting.
10장
Self-Rule: The Foundation of True Power
It's easy to blame others-bosses, colleagues, subordinates-for our problems, but harder to accept when we're the ones who need to change. In November 1909, Mohandas Gandhi wrote his treatise Hind Swaraj (Indian Home Rule) during a sea voyage, writing so furiously that when his right hand tired, he continued with his left.
Through a dialogue between a firebrand "Reader" who wants to drive out the British and a wiser "Editor," Gandhi argues that merely expelling the colonizers without transforming how Indians see themselves would simply replace one tyranny with another. When the Reader complains about British exploitation, the Editor asks if gentler treatment would suffice. The Reader dismisses this, insisting India needs its own flag and global voice. The Editor responds that the Reader merely wants "English rule without the Englishman"-making India into "Englistan" rather than achieving true swaraj.
The deeper flaw in power-chasing isn't just failing to grasp power's impermanence, but believing that dominating others leads to happiness. Robert Greene's "The 48 Laws of Power" opens with the premise that everyone wants more power because powerlessness feels miserable. But this conflates two meanings of power: the Western view of power as individual domination versus the Eastern concept of power as collective achievement.
The question isn't whether domination is moral, but whether it makes us happier and stronger-or sadder and weaker. As educator Molly McGinn notes, Eastern influence isn't transactional but karmic-a contribution to the collective where "I" really means "we." Gandhi advises mastering ourselves rather than others, achieving "Swaraj" (self-rule) by recognizing our inner strength while knowing when to "drop the stick" of aggression.
11장
Mindful Persistence: The Daily Work of Influence
The Buddha's teachings on mindfulness show how it can spread beyond the individual to affect entire populations, illustrated through the parable of the wheel-turning monarch. In this story, a good king who ruled righteously passed down duties that included providing protection, supporting the poor, and seeking wise counsel. When followed, these practices caused the sacred Wheel-gem to appear, symbolizing righteous rule. Later kings who neglected these duties, particularly failing to care for the poor, triggered societal collapse.
Like Jim Collins' flywheel metaphor, leadership success comes not from dramatic interventions but consistent effort in the same direction. Leadership recognition often comes from mundane but essential practices: sharing information candidly, setting clear goals, and balancing short and long-term needs.
The Western pitfall of regarding mindfulness as purely personal misses its collaborative power. Mindfulness isn't just for personal well-being but enhances workplace performance and focus. The Buddhist concept of "dependent arising" teaches that everything is interconnected-what one person does affects everyone else.
Research by Amabile and Kramer confirms this, showing how small daily interactions significantly impact "inner work life" and performance. Progress happens when even a few people begin mindfully working together, creating positive ripples throughout an organization-like the Buddha's parable where a few individuals choosing good gradually transform an entire society.
12장
Cultivating Growth: Upstream Factors Over Downstream Results
Mencius teaches that ch'i (life force) must be nourished with fidelity rather than forced. He tells the parable of a man who, impatient with his rice plants' growth, pulls on the shoots to help them grow taller-only to return home exhausted while his fields wither and die. This illustrates how we must cultivate ch'i without forcing it: "Don't let it out of your mind, but don't try to help it grow and flourish either."
Rather than yanking on rice shoots or neglecting to weed, effective leaders cultivate the upstream sources of results. In "Strategic Speed," research showed that companies focusing on people factors moved faster than those obsessed with pace and process. The fastest organizations emphasized three key people factors: clarity (shared understanding of direction), unity (agreement on working together), and agility (adaptability while maintaining strategic goals).
Westerners tend to see time as separate points-past, present, short-term future, and long-term future-while fixating on the short-term. Eastern philosophies view time as a fluid continuum. The legendary Chinese sage-emperors, particularly Yu the Great, demonstrate this holistic approach. When floodwaters covered China, Yu spent thirteen years surveying the land, dredging channels, creating irrigation systems, and cutting roads through mountains. His infrastructure projects bore fruit across all time horizons-not just in the distant future.
As research in "The Progress Principle" confirms, meaningful long-term endeavors provide immediate psychological benefits: "As soon as people realize they have clear goals, sufficient resources, or helpful colleagues, they get an instant boost" to their perceptions, emotions, and motivation. These findings suggest long-term investments complement rather than compete with short-term efforts.
13장
Being Present: The Ultimate Influence Skill
Zen Master Dogen teaches that presence allows us to "turn things while being turned by things." His essay "Instructions for the Tenzo" (monastery cook) emphasizes that this crucial role requires accomplished monks with "way-seeking mind." True presence involves three key practices:
First, pay attention-perform every task "with close attention, vigorous exertion, and a sincere mind," treating ingredients and utensils with respect, avoiding waste, and carefully planning each meal.
Second, do it yourself-Dogen relates finding an elderly cook drying mushrooms in blazing heat who refused help saying, "Others are not myself." In contrast, he condemns a cook who delegated everything while lounging in his office.
Third, work with what you have-never change your attitude based on ingredients quality, treating poor materials with the same care as fine ones, and maintaining consistent truth when dealing with difficult colleagues.
Presence matters because it transforms us from being "set into motion by things" to becoming able to "set things into motion" ourselves.
What prevents us from being present? In the West, the common answer is shame. Western gurus like Brene Brown advise conquering shame by believing "I am enough"-a message with immense popularity. Eastern thinkers, however, view shame as valuable-a healthy emotion felt by good people that helps hold society together.
Since the 1960s, Western psychology has promoted the idea that we shouldn't base self-esteem on others' opinions, but this approach creates contradictions: if I'm fine regardless of your opinion, why should I care about hurting you? The Eastern perspective is harder but better: there is only one kind of shame, which becomes toxic only if we regard it as scary and unhealthy. Dogen teaches us to "turn things while being turned by things"-not being unmoved by emotions like shame, but being moved without freaking out.
14장
Knowing When to Walk Away: The Final Influence Practice
Sometimes influence becomes impossible, and we must recognize when to walk away. While persistence often brings results, Ibn Tufayl's story of Hayy Ibn Yaqzan shows that sometimes walking away is the wiser choice.
The key indicator that it's time to leave: when a powerful person resents you and your influence. This resentment typically emerges after you've built support and achieved success as an influencer, particularly from those who gained their position through intimidation or bootlicking. When this happens, you have two options: leave quickly and quietly without grandstanding, or keep your head down while preparing your exit. When a powerful person resents you, influence is no longer possible-retreat becomes necessary.
While Eastern thought offers valuable lessons on quiet influence, it has a characteristic pitfall: emphasizing community conformity over individual thinking. Ibn Tufayl's radical story presents Hayy, who learns truth independently, attempts to share it with society, then turns away when society can't handle it. This individualism contrasts sharply with Eastern traditions that emphasize communal knowledge.
Beyond the twelve sages of Eastern wisdom, there exists a "thirteenth sage"-the everyday influencer found in workplaces and communities worldwide. Gurcharan Das, former CEO of Procter & Gamble India, illustrates this through the story of Kamble, an uneducated security guard who transformed his workplace through exceptional service. Despite lacking formal education or English skills, Kamble's instinctive understanding that the company existed for its customers made him a transformative leader who inspired through actions rather than words.
The true sage gives freely of themselves and becomes richer in the process, following "the way of heaven" that benefits without harming and is "bountiful without contending." When the master's work is done, "the people all say, 'We did it ourselves.'"
