What is I Hate You—Don't Leave Me about?

I Hate You—Don't Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman is a comprehensive guide to understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). First published in 1989 and now in its third edition, the book explores the emotional instability, fear of abandonment, and identity struggles that characterize BPD. Kreisman combines clinical expertise with accessible language to help readers recognize BPD patterns and offers practical strategies for communicating with and supporting individuals who have the disorder.

Who is Jerold J. Kreisman and why is he an authority on BPD?

Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., is a renowned psychiatrist and leading international expert on Borderline Personality Disorder. He serves as Associate Clinical Professor at St. Louis University and has been designated a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. His bestselling books on BPD have been translated into multiple languages and sold over 300,000 copies worldwide. Kreisman has lectured internationally and appeared on major media platforms including The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Who should read I Hate You—Don't Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman?

I Hate You—Don't Leave Me is essential reading for family members, partners, therapists, and friends of individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder. Mental health professionals seeking deeper clinical understanding of BPD will find valuable insights, while those personally affected by BPD can gain self-awareness and validation. The book serves anyone struggling to understand the intense emotional patterns and relationship challenges associated with BPD, offering both theoretical knowledge and practical communication tools.

Is I Hate You—Don't Leave Me worth reading in 2025?

I Hate You—Don't Leave Me remains a foundational text on Borderline Personality Disorder, with the third edition updated in 2021 to reflect current research and treatment advances. The book has sold over 300,000 copies and continues to be recommended by mental health professionals worldwide. While some readers note certain aspects feel dated, the core insights into BPD emotional patterns and relationship dynamics remain relevant and valuable for understanding this complex disorder in contemporary contexts.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder according to I Hate You—Don't Leave Me?

According to Jerold J. Kreisman in I Hate You—Don't Leave Me, Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a weak sense of identity, intense fear of abandonment, and rapid mood swings. Individuals with BPD experience emotional instability so severe that Kreisman describes it as "emotional hemophilia"—lacking the ability to moderate intense feelings. The disorder involves difficulty tolerating solitude, leading to relentless loneliness that can only be relieved by others' physical presence, often resulting in turbulent relationships.

What does "emotional hemophilia" mean in I Hate You—Don't Leave Me?

The "emotional hemophilia" metaphor in I Hate You—Don't Leave Me illustrates how individuals with BPD lack emotional regulation mechanisms. Kreisman explains that just as hemophiliacs lack blood clotting factors, people with BPD lack the psychological "clotting mechanism" to moderate emotional responses. When feelings are triggered, they experience uncontrolled emotional bleeding—intense reactions without natural boundaries. This vivid comparison helps readers understand why BPD individuals may have disproportionate responses to seemingly minor events or perceived rejections.

What are the main insights about fear of abandonment in I Hate You—Don't Leave Me?

Jerold J. Kreisman describes fear of abandonment as the central dynamic in Borderline Personality Disorder throughout I Hate You—Don't Leave Me. This terror of being left alone creates the paradoxical "I hate you—don't leave me" pattern where individuals push people away while desperately needing connection. The book explains that when alone, those with BPD lose their sense of continuity, confidence, and even reality, making solitude psychologically unbearable. This insight helps loved ones understand seemingly contradictory behaviors.

How does I Hate You—Don't Leave Me help families communicate with BPD loved ones?

I Hate You—Don't Leave Me provides practical communication strategies for managing the intense emotions and conflicts that arise with Borderline Personality Disorder. The third edition specifically includes advice for setting boundaries, expressing needs effectively, and responding to emotional crises without enabling destructive patterns. Kreisman emphasizes understanding the underlying fear and pain driving BPD behaviors rather than taking attacks personally, helping families develop compassion while maintaining healthy limits in their relationships.

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

Jerold J. Kreisman

Psychology Health Relationship

개요

핵심 요점

저자

자주 묻는 질문

The first book to demystify Borderline Personality Disorder for mainstream audiences, this groundbreaking classic has transformed mental health conversations for three decades. Dr. Kreisman's pioneering work, endorsed by leading specialists, reveals why emotional turbulence creates the ultimate relationship paradox.

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저자의 목소리로 책을 느껴보세요

심층 분석42분

지식을 흥미롭고 예시가 풍부한 인사이트로 전환

플래시 카드10개의 인사이트

핵심 아이디어를 빠르게 캡처하여 신속하게 학습

재미있게24분

재미있고 매력적인 방식으로 책을 즐기세요

「I Hate You--Don't Leave Me」베스트 인용구

Imagine lacking the emotional equivalent of blood-clotting factors-where the slightest psychological wound causes you to bleed out emotionally.

나만의 학습 방법 탐색하기

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me은 단순한 책이 아닙니다 — Psychology의 마스터클래스입니다. 당신에게 가장 잘 맞는 방식으로 교훈을 흡수할 수 있도록 5가지 고유한 학습 모드를 제공합니다. 깊이 생각하는 사람이든, 빠른 학습자이든, 이야기를 좋아하는 사람이든, 당신의 스타일에 맞는 모드가 있습니다.

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I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약 - 10분

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me의 핵심 아이디어를 이해하기 쉬운 포인트로 분해하여 혁신적인 팀이 어떻게 창조하고, 협력하고, 성장하는지 이해합니다.

00:00

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I Hate You--Don't Leave Me에서 엄선한 10가지 핵심 인사이트

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me을 빠른 기억 단서로 압축하여 솔직함, 팀워크, 창의적 회복력의 핵심 원칙을 강조합니다.

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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

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웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

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I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약을 무료 PDF 또는 EPUB으로 받으세요. 인쇄하거나 오프라인에서 언제든 읽을 수 있습니다.

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

Jerold J. Kreisman

Psychology Health Relationship

개요

핵심 요점

저자

자주 묻는 질문

나만의 학습 방법 탐색하기

빠른 요약10분

저자의 목소리로 책을 느껴보세요

심층 분석42분

지식을 흥미롭고 예시가 풍부한 인사이트로 전환

플래시 카드10개의 인사이트

핵심 아이디어를 빠르게 캡처하여 신속하게 학습

재미있게24분

재미있고 매력적인 방식으로 책을 즐기세요

「I Hate You--Don't Leave Me」베스트 인용구

Imagine lacking the emotional equivalent of blood-clotting factors-where the slightest psychological wound causes you to bleed out emotionally.

이런 책은 어떠세요

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide

Alexander L. Chapman

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder

Daniel J. & Fox

Men who hate women & the women who love them

Susan Forward

How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind

Todd Baratz

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Mira Kirshenbaum

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder? Here's what to know

BPD in Relationships: A Guide for Partners and Loved Ones

6 sources

Loving Someone with BPD: A Boyfriend's Guide

6 sources

Why You Push Love Away: Childhood's Cruel Blueprint

핵심 내용

The Emotional Tightrope: Understanding Borderline Personality

00:00

Imagine lacking emotional blood-clotting factors-where the slightest psychological wound causes you to bleed out emotionally. This is life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You've likely encountered people with these traits: the friend who ends relationships over perceived slights then acts as if nothing happened; the boss who alternates between lavish praise and harsh criticism; or the acquaintance who drastically changes their appearance and relationship commitments weekly. What defines these individuals is inconsistency-they are emotional chameleons, adapting to environments with remarkable fluidity. At the core of their experience is "splitting"-the rigid separation of positive and negative thoughts. While most people experience ambivalence, borderlines shift between contradictory emotional states, entirely unaware of one state while immersed in another. Their world contains only heroes and villains with no middle ground. This black-and-white thinking extends to relationships, where they desperately seek connections because solitude is intolerable, yet simultaneously fear intimacy. Too much closeness threatens suffocation while distance triggers abandonment fears. Like explorers with sketchy maps, they cannot gauge optimal distance from others, bouncing between clinging dependency and angry manipulation.

The Perfect Storm: How BPD Develops

A Reflection of Our Times: BPD and Society

Speaking the Borderline Language: Effective Communication

Living with the Borderline: Practical Strategies

The Healing Journey: Treatment Approaches

Finding the Middle Path: The Journey to Integration

나만의 학습 방법 탐색하기

빠른 요약

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약 - 10분

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me의 핵심 아이디어를 이해하기 쉬운 포인트로 분해하여 혁신적인 팀이 어떻게 창조하고, 협력하고, 성장하는지 이해합니다.

00:00

플래시 카드

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me에서 엄선한 10가지 핵심 인사이트

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me을 빠른 기억 단서로 압축하여 솔직함, 팀워크, 창의적 회복력의 핵심 원칙을 강조합니다.

재미있게

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me의 교훈을 24분 스토리로

생생한 스토리텔링을 통해 I Hate You--Don't Leave Me을 경험하고, 혁신 교훈을 기억에 남고 적용할 수 있는 순간으로 바꿉니다.

00:00

개인화

나만의 방식으로 I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 경험하기.

무엇이든 물어보고, 목소리를 선택하고, 진정으로 공감되는 인사이트를 함께 만들어보세요.

샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

BeFreed는 1,000,000 호기심 넘치는 글로벌 커뮤니티를 하나로 연결합니다

웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

BeFreed는 1,000,000 호기심 넘치는 글로벌 커뮤니티를 하나로 연결합니다

웹에서 BeFreed가 어떻게 논의되고 있는지 더 보기

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

지금 바로 학습 여정을 시작하세요

이 요약 다운로드

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약을 무료 PDF 또는 EPUB으로 받으세요. 인쇄하거나 오프라인에서 언제든 읽을 수 있습니다.

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman Summary

Overview of I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

Similar books to I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

「I Hate You--Don't Leave Me」베스트 인용구

빠른 요약 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약을 10분 만에 읽거나 듣기

플래시 카드 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me에서 엄선한 10가지 핵심 인사이트

재미있게 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me의 교훈을 24분 스토리로

개인화 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약을 0분 만에 읽거나 듣기

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me PDF 다운로드

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me EPUB 다운로드

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman Summary

Overview of I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

Similar books to I Hate You--Don't Leave Me

「I Hate You--Don't Leave Me」베스트 인용구

이런 책은 어떠세요

핵심 내용

The Emotional Tightrope: Understanding Borderline Personality

The Perfect Storm: How BPD Develops

A Reflection of Our Times: BPD and Society

Speaking the Borderline Language: Effective Communication

Living with the Borderline: Practical Strategies

The Healing Journey: Treatment Approaches

Finding the Middle Path: The Journey to Integration

빠른 요약 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me 요약을 10분 만에 읽거나 듣기

플래시 카드 모드 - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me에서 엄선한 10가지 핵심 인사이트

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핵심 내용

The Emotional Tightrope: Understanding Borderline Personality

The Perfect Storm: How BPD Develops

A Reflection of Our Times: BPD and Society

Speaking the Borderline Language: Effective Communication

Living with the Borderline: Practical Strategies

The Healing Journey: Treatment Approaches

Finding the Middle Path: The Journey to Integration