Getting The Love You Want book cover

Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Summary

Getting The Love You Want
Harville Hendrix
4.05 (14269 Reviews)
Relationship
Communication skill
Psychology
Self-growth
개요
핵심 요점
저자
자주 묻는 질문

Overview of Getting The Love You Want

Unlock the secrets of lasting love with the relationship bible that saved Oprah's partnership. Two million copies sold, "Getting the Love You Want" transforms childhood wounds into conscious connection. What hidden patterns are sabotaging your relationship right now?

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나만의 학습 방법 탐색하기
빠른 요약9분

저자의 목소리로 책을 느껴보세요

심층 분석42분

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핵심 아이디어를 빠르게 캡처하여 신속하게 학습

재미있게20분

재미있고 매력적인 방식으로 책을 즐기세요

이런 책은 어떠세요

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핵심 내용

1

Why We Keep Choosing the Wrong Person and the Beautiful Lie That Binds Us

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Have you ever wondered why that perfect first date turned into years of the same exhausting arguments? Why the person who once made your heart race now makes your blood boil? Here's the unsettling truth: you didn't accidentally fall in love with the wrong person. Your unconscious mind chose them with laser precision, selecting someone uniquely equipped to reopen your oldest emotional wounds. This isn't a cruel joke-it's actually your psyche's attempt at healing, though it rarely feels that way when you're fighting about whose turn it is to do the dishes for the third time this week. We enter relationships carrying invisible scars from childhood, and our brains maintain a detailed composite image-an Imago-of the people who shaped us earliest. This template includes everything from your mother's tone of voice to your father's emotional availability. When you meet someone who matches this blueprint, your old brain lights up with recognition, flooding you with dopamine and creating that intoxicating feeling we call falling in love. The quiet partner reminds you of your distant father. The critical spouse echoes your demanding mother. We're drawn to the familiar, even when the familiar once hurt us, because our unconscious believes: this time, I can get it right. Romantic love creates an altered state of consciousness more powerful than most drugs. Colors seem brighter, problems feel manageable, and suddenly you're the kind of person who writes poetry or stays up all night talking. Your brain releases a cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin that makes you feel whole, complete, and utterly convinced you've found your soulmate. For a brief, glorious period, your partner seems to instinctively know exactly what you need. They offer the affection your parents withheld, the freedom your family denied, the validation you've craved since childhood. But this paradise rests on denial. Like Psyche gazing at Eros by lamplight only to watch him flee, the moment we truly see our partner-flaws and all-the castle of illusion crumbles. The romantic phase serves a crucial evolutionary purpose: it gets us to commit before we realize what we've signed up for. Because here's what romantic love obscures: the very traits that initially attracted you will eventually drive you crazy. The "spontaneous" partner becomes "irresponsible." The "strong, silent type" turns "emotionally unavailable." The "passionate" one now seems "volatile." These aren't different people-you're just seeing them clearly for the first time, and your old brain is panicking because they're starting to act exactly like the parents who wounded you.

2

When Paradise Becomes a Prison and the Dance of Turtles and Hailstorms

3

The Hidden Curriculum of Your Complaints and Converting Criticism to Healing

4

The Dialogue That Rewires Your Brain and Creates Safety

5

Becoming the Person Your Partner Needs Through Stretching Beyond Fear

6

Creating the Sacred Space Through Zero Negativity and Deliberate Care

7

Reclaiming the Love You've Always Wanted Through Conscious Partnership

나만의 학습 방법 탐색하기
Getting The Love You Want은 단순한 책이 아닙니다 — Relationship의 마스터클래스입니다. 당신에게 가장 잘 맞는 방식으로 교훈을 흡수할 수 있도록 5가지 고유한 학습 모드를 제공합니다. 깊이 생각하는 사람이든, 빠른 학습자이든, 이야기를 좋아하는 사람이든, 당신의 스타일에 맞는 모드가 있습니다.

빠른 요약 모드 - Getting The Love You Want 요약을 9분 만에 읽거나 듣기

빠른 요약
빠른 요약
Getting The Love You Want 요약 - 9분

Getting The Love You Want의 핵심 아이디어를 이해하기 쉬운 포인트로 분해하여 혁신적인 팀이 어떻게 창조하고, 협력하고, 성장하는지 이해합니다.

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플래시 카드 모드 - Getting The Love You Want에서 엄선한 8가지 핵심 인사이트

플래시 카드
플래시 카드
Getting The Love You Want에서 엄선한 8가지 핵심 인사이트

Getting The Love You Want을 빠른 기억 단서로 압축하여 솔직함, 팀워크, 창의적 회복력의 핵심 원칙을 강조합니다.

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재미있게 모드 - Getting The Love You Want의 교훈을 20분 스토리로

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Getting The Love You Want의 교훈을 20분 스토리로

생생한 스토리텔링을 통해 Getting The Love You Want을 경험하고, 혁신 교훈을 기억에 남고 적용할 수 있는 순간으로 바꿉니다.

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개인화 모드 - Getting The Love You Want 요약을 0분 만에 읽거나 듣기

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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
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4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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37
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
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star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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thumbsUp
16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

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