A Child Called “It”: One Child's Courage to Survive

A Child Called “It” 요약

1. 1

   A Child Trapped in Unimaginable Horror

   

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   In the darkness of a cold garage, a young boy curls into a tight ball on an army cot, straining to hear if his mother is still asleep upstairs. This is Dave Pelzer's reality - a child living in constant terror, subjected to burns and stabbings, denied food for days, and reduced to stealing rags to wrap around his feet to stay warm. Survival has become his only purpose. What makes this story particularly heartbreaking is that Dave once had a normal, loving relationship with his mother. He treasured memories of fishing with her, deliberately keeping his bait above water to prolong their time together. But something changed dramatically in her, transforming the loving "Mommy" who took him fishing into "The Mother" - a cold, violent person who emerged when she drank and who no longer called him David but "The Boy," and eventually just "It." The psychological warfare was perhaps more damaging than the physical abuse. Mother would position Dave at the top of the stairs and demand he tell her how stupid she was - a cruel game designed to disorient and control him. When he gave the wrong answer, she would strike him across the face. "You're not a person," she would bellow. "You're a thing, an It. I can do whatever I want with you." The physical abuse escalated to horrifying levels. She would choke him until he nearly lost consciousness, only to slap him awake at the last moment. She would push him down stairs, deny him food while forcing him to watch his brothers eat, and make him sleep in the garage without blankets.

2. 2

   Rescue and the Journey to Recovery

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   The turning point in Dave's nightmare came on March 5, 1973, when teachers finally called police who placed him in protective custody. They acted after Dave arrived at school gasping for breath with a severely swollen throat and arms with no skin-the result of Mother forcing his arms into a bucket of ammonia and Clorox. Though free from abuse, Dave felt rejected, as if he wasn't good enough for his mother to keep. In foster care, Dave had to learn basic skills most children take for granted-proper posture after years in a forced POW position, speaking without stuttering, and fundamental social interactions. He became obsessed with working, believing "foster kids never amounted to anything" and fearing homelessness when he turned eighteen. In 1979, Dave joined the U.S. Air Force after dropping out of high school, seeing it as his only chance for stability. The military provided the structure he desperately needed. Basic training oddly reminded him of living with Mother-he kept a low profile, avoided eye contact with drill sergeants, and performed duties precisely while suppressing his stuttering.

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   Finding Purpose Through Military Service and Fatherhood

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   Despite hoping to become a firefighter like his father, Dave was assigned as a "food service specialist." Though initially devastated, he applied himself fully, maintaining near-perfect scores and preparing every dish with pride. While others socialized, Dave saved money and built an aeronautical library. His dedication led to becoming an in-flight boom operator for the SR-71 "Sled" Blackbird - fulfilling his dream of flying. For the first time, he felt good about himself, with his own apartment, close friends, and a career he loved. The birth of Dave's son Stephen in 1986 marked a profound turning point. His greatest fear wasn't parenthood but his ability to be a good father. Having been severely abused, he worried about becoming an abuser himself. Dave treasured every moment with Stephen - watching him splash in his pool, playing "brasebrall" together - experiences he never had with his own father. He named his son Stephen Joseph after his father, seeing it as "my chance to set things right." This relationship became both his salvation and purpose, giving him a concrete way to break the generational cycle of abuse.

4. 4장

   Confronting the Past and Breaking the Cycle

   Throughout Dave's adult life, his mother haunted his nightmares as a marble statue that suddenly animated with a silver carving knife. He would wake screaming, "Why...?" As Dave built his family with wife Patsy and son Stephen, he grew determined to understand why his mother had targeted him specifically. In summer 1987, Dave took his family to Salt Lake City, secretly planning to confront his mother. When asked why she singled him out, her response was chilling: "'It' was bad, David." She explained that "It" deserved punishment for stealing food and being disobedient. When pressed further, she revealed she had tortured Dave simply because she found his voice irritating - it "wailed" more than his brothers'. After witnessing a neighbor verbally abusing her daughter, Dave was propelled into extensive volunteer work with troubled youth across California. Despite his lifelong speech anxiety, he began sharing his story with teenagers in foster care. His commitment to breaking the cycle extended beyond his own family, transforming his pain into purpose and ensuring his mother's legacy of abuse would end with him.

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   Finding Love and Healing

   Dave's healing journey culminated when he met Marsha Donohoe, his editor at a small Florida publishing house. Despite fears of rejection stemming from childhood abuse and his failed first marriage, Dave gradually opened up to her. Their relationship began with long phone conversations, during which he eventually admitted, "Sometimes, at night, before I go to sleep... I can see your face..." When Marsha challenged his sense of self-worth, asking "What do YOU deserve?", Dave confessed his lifelong feeling of unworthiness: "I feel my entire life, it's like I saw everything swirling around me, and somehow I allowed things to take control of me because I never felt I deserved anything but that." Marsha assured him he deserved happiness, and when she called him her "best friend," Dave finally surrendered his last protective layer: "When I'm with you, Marsha... I feel clean. You ease my shame." Their relationship deepened as Marsha became both his partner and business manager. In June 1999, they married at the Russian River with Stephen as best man, surrounded by important people from Dave's life - including Mrs. Woodworth, his fifth-grade teacher, and childhood friends from foster care.

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   The Triumph of the Human Spirit

   Dave Pelzer's story transcends typical abuse narratives through his transformation of suffering into positive change. As one of the first male survivors to speak openly about child abuse, he broke the silence surrounding this issue, especially for boys. Dave views his journey not as one of victimhood but as testament to the indomitable human spirit, believing "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Most remarkable is Dave's capacity for forgiveness. Despite the horrors he endured, he found peace at his mother's funeral, praying for her eternal rest and feeling "a gigantic weight lift from my soul" - an act of forgiveness that served his own healing. From a child called "It" to a man who has touched countless lives, Dave's journey demonstrates that with hope, effort, and love, the human spirit can overcome the darkest circumstances and emerge not just intact, but luminous. We always retain the power to write the next chapter of our own story.

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