35:13 Lena: Miles, as we start to wrap up our conversation, I want to talk about something that I think is really important but doesn't get discussed enough—how to maintain self-care practices when life gets really challenging. Because let's be honest, those are often the times when we need self-care most, but they're also when it feels hardest to prioritize.
35:35 Miles: That's such a crucial point, Lena. It's easy to maintain good self-care habits when everything is going smoothly, but real life includes periods of crisis, major transitions, illness, loss, and other challenges that can completely disrupt our routines.
35:50 Lena: Exactly! And I feel like that's when I tend to abandon my self-care practices entirely, which probably makes those difficult times even harder to navigate.
36:00 Miles: You're absolutely right about that. It's like taking off your seatbelt right before you hit turbulence. But here's what's important to understand—self-care during difficult times doesn't look the same as self-care during easy times, and that's completely okay.
10:37 Lena: What do you mean by that?
36:17 Miles: Well, during a crisis or major stressor, your self-care might need to be much more basic and survival-focused. Instead of your usual hour-long workout, maybe it's just making sure you eat something nutritious. Instead of a lengthy meditation practice, maybe it's just taking three conscious breaths when you feel overwhelmed.
36:35 Lena: So it's about adapting rather than abandoning?
4:13 Miles: Exactly! Think of it as having different levels of self-care—like having both formal clothes and comfortable pajamas. You wouldn't wear a suit to bed, and you wouldn't wear pajamas to a wedding. Similarly, you need different self-care approaches for different life circumstances.
10:58 Lena: That's such a helpful way to think about it. What would those different levels look like?
22:01 Miles: Great question. Level one might be what I call "survival self-care"—the absolute basics like getting some sleep, eating regularly, staying hydrated, and reaching out for support when you need it. Level two might include gentle movement, basic stress management techniques, and maintaining some social connections. Level three could be your full routine with exercise, meditation, creative pursuits, and proactive health practices.
37:22 Lena: And you move between these levels based on what's happening in your life?
0:47 Miles: Exactly. During a family crisis, job loss, or health scare, you might need to operate at level one for a while, and that's not failure—that's wisdom. You're conserving your energy for what's most essential while still taking basic care of yourself.
37:40 Lena: This is really helping me understand why I've struggled with this in the past. I think I've had an all-or-nothing approach where if I couldn't maintain my full routine, I felt like I was failing at self-care entirely.
10:22 Miles: That all-or-nothing thinking is so common and so counterproductive. The truth is, maintaining even basic self-care during difficult times is actually an incredible accomplishment. You're keeping yourself functioning so that when the crisis passes, you have a foundation to build from.
38:07 Lena: What about the role of community and support systems during these challenging times?
38:11 Miles: Oh, that's huge! One of the most important forms of self-care during difficult periods is allowing others to help you. This might mean accepting offers of practical support, being honest with friends about what you're going through, or even seeking professional help when you need it.
38:26 Lena: I think that's something I struggle with—asking for help feels like admitting weakness or being a burden.
38:32 Miles: That's such a common feeling, but think about it this way—when a friend is going through a hard time, don't you want to be able to help them? Most people actually feel good about being able to support someone they care about. By allowing others to help you, you're giving them an opportunity to express their care and strengthen your relationship.
38:49 Lena: That's a really different way to think about it. Instead of being a burden, I'm actually allowing people to show up for me the way I would want to show up for them.
4:13 Miles: Exactly! And here's another important point—self-care during challenging times also includes being realistic about your capacity and adjusting your expectations accordingly. If you're dealing with a major stressor, this probably isn't the time to take on new projects or push yourself to achieve more.
39:14 Lena: So it's about protecting your energy for what's most essential?
39:18 Miles: Right. And sometimes the most caring thing you can do for yourself is to say no to additional commitments, to ask for extensions on deadlines, or to delegate responsibilities that don't absolutely require your personal attention.
39:31 Lena: This makes me think about how we prepare for these challenging times too. Is there anything we can do proactively to make it easier to maintain self-care when life gets difficult?
11:04 Miles: Absolutely! One thing that's really helpful is to identify what I call your "non-negotiables"—the two or three self-care practices that make the biggest difference for your wellbeing. When life gets overwhelming, you can focus on just those essentials rather than trying to maintain everything.
39:55 Lena: How do you figure out what those non-negotiables are?
39:58 Miles: Pay attention over time to what practices have the biggest impact on how you feel. For some people, it's sleep and movement. For others, it might be social connection and time in nature. The key is knowing yourself well enough to identify what gives you the most support during difficult times.
40:13 Lena: And I imagine it's also helpful to have these conversations with the people in your life beforehand, so they know how to support you when you're struggling?
40:20 Miles: That's so smart! Having those conversations when you're feeling good—talking about what you need when you're stressed, what support looks like for you, what warning signs to watch for—can make such a difference when challenges actually arise.
40:33 Lena: This whole perspective is really changing how I think about self-care. It's not just about maintaining good habits when everything is fine—it's about building resilience and having tools that can adapt to whatever life brings.
40:44 Miles: That's exactly right, Lena. Self-care is ultimately about developing a sustainable, compassionate relationship with yourself that can weather all of life's seasons. It's about having the tools and the wisdom to take care of yourself whether you're thriving or just trying to get through a difficult day.
