第9章
The Art of Entertaining and Living with Passion
There are few things better than attending a proper dinner party with all the trimmings-aperitifs, hors d'oeuvres, music, excellent cuisine and interesting guests. France is truly a dinner party culture, with Parisians entertaining at least weekly.
The key to successful dinner parties is confidence. Madame Chic and Madame Bohemienne were master planners with their signature in every detail, from music to food to ambience. They genuinely enjoyed entertaining and maintained Zen-like attitudes even when things went wrong. To be a confident hostess, remember: your guests like you and want you to succeed; you look fabulous; the food tastes great (and if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world); go with what you know; and most importantly-calm down, let go, and have fun! Entertaining isn't about Martha Stewart perfection but about enjoying your guests' company.
Famille Chic would always gather in the living room before dinner for aperitifs and nibbles. These pre-dinner drinks-whiskey, port, or tomato juice-stimulated the appetite and calmed nerves. Madame Bohemienne's aperitifs were different affairs, featuring champagne cocktails or rum from Martinique, served with jazz playing in the background. Her gatherings often became so engrossing that dinner wouldn't be served until ten p.m.!
At my first dinner party with Madame Bohemienne, I made a shocking linguistic error. Attempting to say French yogurt had fewer preservatives than American yogurt, I used the word "preservatifs," which actually means "condoms" in French. My innocent comment about "fewer condoms in French yogurt" left the French guests either perplexed or laughing out loud. In these circumstances, it's best to have a sense of humor-I simply raised my glass, said "Sante!" and laughed with everyone else.
Madame Chic and Madame Bohemienne's dinner parties were memorable for different reasons-Madame Chic's felt like classy, highbrow affairs while Madame Bohemienne's were joyous and artistic. Decide what signature atmosphere you'll become known for and create rituals people will anticipate at your gatherings.
Music is essential for setting your party's atmosphere. Madame Bohemienne used jazz while Madame Chic preferred classical. I favor lively music for my gatherings, though I learned to match the music to the meal after playing salsa during an English Sunday roast-our guest remarked he felt like he was "having an English roast in Honduras." For special occasions, consider surprising guests with impromptu musical performances from talented friends.
When I first learned I'd be staying with the aristocratic Famille Chic in Paris's desirable Sixteenth Arrondissement, I imagined plush sofas, flat-screen TVs, marble bathrooms, and state-of-the-art kitchens. Instead, I discovered they rejected "new materialism"-they weren't obsessed with constant consumption, upgrades, or keeping up with the Joneses. Despite their wealth, they shared one modest car and focused their spending on what truly mattered: high-quality food, excellent wine, and well-made clothing.
Unlike many of us who enter stores for one item and leave with ten, Madame Chic shopped with purpose and restraint. To avoid impulsive spending, I now write detailed shopping lists, pay with cash instead of cards, and track every purchase for a week to reveal wasteful habits. This discipline not only saves money that could fund retirement or vacations but also prevents home clutter from accumulating unnecessary items.
Intelligence is highly revered in France. People want to hear what you have to say-and what you say should be relevant, interesting, and witty. Living in Paris, I found myself separated from mind-numbing entertainment like TV shows and gossip magazines, instead spending time in museums, reading books, and having meaningful discussions. It felt like a detox for my mind. In France, being intellectually stimulating is considered more attractive than just having a pretty face.
Read as much as you can-I try for one to two books weekly. Reading keeps your brain nimble, sharpens your vocabulary and imagination, and is far more rewarding than television. If you lack time during the day, try audiobooks while commuting or doing chores. Keep a book in your purse to read during wait times instead of mindlessly browsing your phone.
The most profound lesson from Paris was to lead a life of passion. Every detail of life can be exceptional if you allow it. When filled with laughter, friendship, art, intellectual endeavors, and joy, life becomes extraordinary. Each morning presents a choice: merely exist or approach life with passion, remaining present and taking something from every situation.
As I became more comfortable in Paris and fluent in French, I began to truly breathe the city's air. I ventured off alone to museums and cafes, feeling like a true Parisian. One night at Les Bains nightclub, I danced for three hours straight in complete euphoria-one of the most memorable nights of my life because I truly let go. I threw away both small worries (would I make the last metro home?) and big ones (what would I do after Paris?).
Now as a mother with my own family, I've become the Madame Chic to my daughters. I want them to live with passion regardless of what they do-it's how they do it that matters. As Eckhart Tolle says, "What you do is secondary. How you do it is primary." Even in mundane tasks, approach them with passion. It's easy to coast through life on autopilot, but my hope is that readers live passionately-with love, art, and music-so you can look back and say you lived well, that no moment was wasted.
