Difficult Conversations book cover

Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone Summary

Difficult Conversations
Douglas Stone
4.07 (19324 Reviews)
Communication skill
Psychology
Relationship
Business
概要
主なポイント
著者
よくある質問

Overview of Difficult Conversations

Every difficult conversation hides three crucial dialogues beneath the surface. This groundbreaking framework, endorsed by Olympic coach Ben Hunt-Davis, has revolutionized conflict resolution worldwide. Master the "learning stance" that transforms confrontations into opportunities - the same approach reshaping leadership training from boardrooms to military academies.

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クイックサマリー12分

著者の声を通じて本を感じる

深堀り42分

知識を魅力的で例が豊富な洞察に変換

フラッシュカード11件の洞察

キーアイデアを瞬時にキャプチャして素早く学習

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楽しく魅力的な方法で本を楽しむ

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重要なポイント

1

The Conversations We Avoid-And Why They Define Us

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Have you ever felt your heart pound before clicking "send" on a difficult email? That moment when your palms sweat before confronting a colleague, or when you rehearse what you'll say to your partner for the hundredth time but never actually say it? We've all been there. These moments aren't just uncomfortable-they're defining. How we handle them shapes our careers, our relationships, and ultimately who we become. Yet most of us stumble through these exchanges with no real framework, relying on instinct alone. What if there was a better way? What if every difficult conversation, from firing an employee to telling your mother-in-law she's overstepping, actually followed the same hidden structure? Understanding this structure doesn't make hard conversations easy, but it transforms them from emotional minefields into navigable terrain. Every difficult exchange actually contains three simultaneous conversations, whether you realize it or not. The first is the "What Happened?" conversation-the surface-level dispute about facts and blame. The second is the "Feelings" conversation-the emotions bubbling underneath that we often try to suppress. The third is the "Identity" conversation-the internal questioning about what this situation means about who we are. Consider Jack, who worked all night designing a financial prospectus, canceling dinner with his daughter to meet the deadline. When his boss Michael harshly criticized a slightly misaligned chart, their exchange revealed all three layers. On the surface, they argued about the chart's placement. Beneath that, Jack felt unappreciated while Michael felt anxious about investor reactions. Deeper still, Jack questioned his professional competence while Michael worried about his judgment in hiring. We typically make three critical errors across these conversations. In "What Happened?" we assume we possess the complete truth when we actually hold just one perspective. In "Feelings" we either bury emotions until they explode or let them dominate destructively. In "Identity" we ignore how the situation threatens our self-image, making us defensive and reactive. The breakthrough comes from shifting from trying to deliver your message to genuinely trying to learn. This isn't about winning or changing minds-it's about understanding different perspectives, exploring feelings together, and managing the identity issues that make us vulnerable.

2

Why We See Different Worlds and Assume Bad Intentions

3

From Blame to Understanding Contribution Systems

4

Why Feelings Can't Be Ignored and How They Disguise Themselves

5

When Your Self-Image Is on the Line

6

Beginning From Neutral Ground-The Third Story

7

Moving Forward Together-Expression, Problem-Solving, and Growth

あなたに合った学び方を探す
『Difficult Conversations』は単なる本ではありません—Communication skillのマスタークラスです。あなたに最適な方法でレッスンを吸収できるよう、5つのユニークな学習モードを用意しています。深く考える人も、素早く学ぶ人も、物語が好きな人も、あなたのスタイルに合ったモードがあります。

クイックサマリーモード - 『Difficult Conversations』の要約を12分で読む・聴く

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『Difficult Conversations』を12分で要約

『Difficult Conversations』の核心的なアイデアを分かりやすいポイントに分解し、革新的なチームがどのように創造、協力、成長するかを理解します。

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フラッシュカードモード - 『Difficult Conversations』から厳選した11の洞察

フラッシュカード
フラッシュカード
『Difficult Conversations』から厳選した11の洞察

『Difficult Conversations』を素早い記憶のヒントに凝縮し、率直さ、チームワーク、創造的な回復力の主要原則を強調します。

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エンタメモード - 『Difficult Conversations』のレッスンを24分のストーリーで

エンタメ
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『Difficult Conversations』のレッスンを24分のストーリーで

鮮やかなストーリーテリングを通じて『Difficult Conversations』を体験し、イノベーションのレッスンを記憶に残り、応用できる瞬間に変えます。

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@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
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star
star
star
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
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star
star
star
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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
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star
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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201
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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star
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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