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    The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    25 min
    |
    6 sources
    |
    16 févr. 2026

    Explore how complex trauma rewires the brain to obsessively track relationship disappointments while filtering out love and care, creating a devastating cycle that convinces trauma survivors they're unloved despite evidence to the contrary.

    The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    Meilleure citation de The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    “

    When someone's keeping score due to CPTSD, they're not sitting there thinking, 'How can I hurt my partner today?' They're genuinely experiencing terror about being abandoned or rejected, and their brain is desperately trying to gather evidence to either confirm or deny that fear.

    ”

    Cette leçon audio a été créée par un membre de la communauté BeFreed

    Question posée

    CPTSD and how they see partners mistakes and keep score of the bad things their partner has done and forget the good thereby convincing themselves that their partner doesn't love them

    Voix des présentateurs
    Lenaplay
    Eliplay
    Sources de connaissances
    CPTSD and Relationships: Why Conflict Happens and What To Do
    link
    https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/c-ptsd-and-interpersonal-relationships
    Stop Walking on Eggshells
    Complex PTSD and Romantic Relationships: How Trauma Impacts
    link
    https://goodhealthpsych.com/blog/complex-ptsd-and-romantic-relationships-how-trauma-impacts/
    The Overthinking In Relationships Fix
    Complex PTSD and relationships: Effects, triggers, and more
    link
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/complex-ptsd-triggers-in-relationships
    Mother Hunger

    Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco

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    "Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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    "Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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    Meilleurs livres par annee
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    Chimamanda Ngozi AdichieGeorge OrwellO. J. SimpsonBarbara O'NeillWinston ChurchillCharlie Kirk
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    Points clés

    1

    Opening and Introduction: The Hidden Scorekeeper in Love

    0:00

    Lena: Hey everyone, welcome back to another personalized episode from BeFreed! I'm Lena, and I'm here with my co-host Eli, and we are absolutely thrilled to dive into something that hits so close to home for so many people dealing with complex trauma.

    0:14

    Eli: That's right, Lena! And you know what? I'm genuinely excited about today's conversation because we're exploring something that doesn't get talked about enough-how complex PTSD can turn our minds into these relentless scorekeepers in relationships. It's like having this internal accountant who only tracks the debits and completely ignores the credits, you know?

    0:32

    Lena: Oh, that's such a perfect way to put it! And what makes this even more important is that people with CPTSD often have no idea they're doing this. They're convinced their partner doesn't love them, but really, their traumatized brain is just filtering out all the evidence to the contrary.

    2

    Setting the Stage: Understanding the Trauma-Tinted Lens

    3

    The Neurobiology of Negative Bias

    4

    The Memory Distortion Effect

    5

    The Emotional Dysregulation Spiral

    6

    The Trust and Intimacy Paradox

    7

    The Abandonment Terror Connection

    8

    The Splitting Phenomenon

    9

    The Hypervigilance Trap

    10

    Breaking the Cycle: Awareness and Healing

    11

    Practical Strategies for Daily Life

    12

    The Ripple Effects: How Healing Transforms Relationships

    13

    Closing Reflections: The Path Forward

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