Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press) book cover

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press) by Terrence Real Summary

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)
Terrence Real
4.25 (3757 Reviews)
Relationship
Psychology
Self-growth
Communication skill
Aperçu
Points Clés
Auteur
Questions Fréquentes

Overview of Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)

In "Us," Terrence Real challenges individualistic thinking with a radical approach to love. This New York Times bestseller (4.24/5 on Goodreads) reveals why helping your partner succeed creates deeper connection. What if minute-by-minute teamwork - not self-focus - is the real relationship game-changer?

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Points clés

1

The Fight You Keep Having Isn't Really About the Dishes

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Your partner just left their coffee cup on the counter again. You've asked them a hundred times to put it in the dishwasher. Your blood pressure rises. Your jaw clenches. Before you know it, you're not discussing a coffee cup anymore-you're relitigating every thoughtless thing they've done for the past decade. Sound familiar? Here's the uncomfortable truth: in that moment, you've literally forgotten you love this person. Your brain has transformed your partner from beloved companion into mortal enemy, and you're both operating from a part of yourselves that's about seven years old. This isn't a character flaw. It's neurobiology meeting unhealed wounds. When we're triggered, our prefrontal cortex-the rational, mature part of our brain-goes offline while our limbic system floods us with stress hormones. We lose the crucial pause between feeling and action. The "us" evaporates, replaced by adversarial "you versus me." We're no longer two adults trying to build a life together; we're wounded children fighting for survival. The question isn't whether you have these moments-everyone does. The question is: which part of you shows up when conflict arrives?

2

The Child Running Your Marriage

3

The Illusion of the Solo Self

4

When Your Past Hijacks Your Present

5

The Individualist Delusion Destroying Your Relationship

6

Thinking Like a Team Changes Everything

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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

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117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
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star
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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comments
254
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17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
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star
star
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
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"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
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star

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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37
likes
483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments
12
likes
117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments
12
likes
108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments
254
likes
17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
star
star
star
star
star

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments
96
likes
4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

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