Chapitre 1
The Power of Presence: How Your Body Shapes Your Mind
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to command a room effortlessly while others shrink despite equal qualifications? Amy Cuddy's groundbreaking research reveals it's not just about what you know, but how you carry yourself. After her 2012 TED Talk became the second most-viewed talk ever with over 50 million views, Cuddy's ideas about "power posing" sparked a global conversation about the relationship between physical posture and psychological power. Endorsed by celebrities from Emma Watson to Beyonce, the book offers scientific backing to the age-old advice to "stand tall." As Cuddy discovered through her own journey recovering from a traumatic brain injury that dropped her IQ by thirty points, our bodies don't just reflect our mental states-they actively create them. This revolutionary insight has transformed boardrooms, classrooms, and therapy sessions worldwide, offering a surprisingly accessible path to personal power that begins not with changing your thoughts, but with changing how you stand.
Chapitre 2
The Elusive Quality That Changes Everything
We recognize presence when we see it, but defining it proves challenging. Think of that moment in an elevator when someone important asks about your work, and your mind goes blank. I experienced this firsthand at an academic conference, freezing when a prestigious scholar requested my "elevator pitch." As I stumbled through an incoherent response, I could feel myself disconnecting from the moment, already analyzing my failure rather than being present.
This self-defeating cycle plagues most of us. We enter high-pressure situations already filled with dread, focusing excessively on others' judgments rather than the task at hand. As philosopher Alan Watts noted about music appreciation: "To understand music, you must listen to it. But so long as you are thinking, 'I am listening to this music,' you are not listening." Similarly, when you're thinking "I am in a job interview" during the interview itself, you can't present your truest, most capable self.
What makes someone successful in these moments isn't their credentials or the content of their pitch, but rather their confidence, comfort level, and passionate enthusiasm. These qualities signal something powerful about a person's belief in their ideas and abilities. When entrepreneurs project genuine enthusiasm, it predicts drive, persistence, creativity, and opportunity recognition. This quality becomes contagious, stimulating commitment and performance in others.
The beautiful thing about presence is that it's not about achieving some permanent, transcendent state of mindfulness. It's more practical and accessible: being attuned to and comfortably expressing our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential in the moment. Presence emerges when we feel personally powerful, allowing us to stay connected to our sincere selves even in stressful situations.
When we're present, our speech, expressions, postures, and movements align in authentic harmony-creating a compelling resonance because it's real. This presence comes through incremental change, not spiritual epiphany. It's about achieving a psychological state that lasts just long enough to get through high-stakes situations like interviews, difficult conversations, or public speaking.
Through small adjustments in body language and mindset-what I call self-nudges-we can induce presence. This approach helps us face stressful situations without anxiety and leave them without regret, knowing we showed others and ourselves who we really are.
Chapitre 3
Authenticity: The Synchronous Self
When we're inauthentic, our verbal and nonverbal behaviors misalign. Contrary to popular belief, there's no single "Pinocchio effect" or telltale sign of lying like avoiding eye contact. Instead, deception manifests as asynchrony between multiple communication channels-facial expressions don't match words, postures conflict with vocal qualities.
Lying is cognitively demanding work. We juggle multiple narratives-what's true, what we want to be true, what we're presenting as true-while managing emotions like fear, guilt, and hope. This mental overload causes "leakage" through nonverbal cues. Research by Leanne ten Brinke found that false remorse appears "emotionally turbulent" with conflicting expressions and unnatural breaks, while true remorse flows naturally.
Interestingly, Harvard psychologist Nancy Etcoff discovered that people with aphasia (who can't process language) are better at detecting lies than those without this condition, suggesting our focus on words actually undermines deception detection. The less present we are, the more poorly we perform-even musicians' performances suffer when artificial asynchrony is introduced. As Martha Graham said, "The body says what words cannot" and "The body never lies."
But what does it mean to be authentic? The self isn't a singular, static entity but rather multifaceted, expressed through our thoughts, feelings, values, and behaviors, and dynamically responsive to different situations. The authentic self is best understood as a transitory experience-"the subjective sense of being one's true self" or feeling aligned with one's real self. It's not permanent but comes and goes, recognized because it "feels right" when we express our values honestly through our actions.
Our authentic best self incorporates even the parts we might wish to change-physical limitations, psychological challenges, or personal struggles. These obstacles shape us uniquely and can become strengths when embraced rather than hidden. As organizational behavior expert Laura Morgan Roberts explains, we all have vivid memories of moments when we felt truly alive and performing at our full potential, which collectively form "a portrait of who we are when we are at our personal best."
To identify our authentic best selves, Roberts suggests examining both "enablers" (attitudes and behaviors that help us access our best selves) and "blockers" (those that hinder us). Key questions include identifying three words that best describe you, recognizing what leads to your happiest times and best performance, reflecting on moments when your actions felt "natural" and "right," and identifying your signature strengths.
However, simply identifying these qualities isn't enough-you must believe in them as core elements of your personal story. When life challenges threaten this self-concept, we instinctively focus all psychological resources on defending ourselves. Psychologist Claude Steele's self-affirmation theory proposes that by affirming our most deeply held values before entering potentially threatening situations, we can preemptively strengthen our resilience against these threats.
Chapitre 4
The Listening Revolution: How Presence Creates Connection
When we become truly present, we enable others to do the same. As Marianne Williamson wrote: "As we let our own light shine, we... give other people permission to do the same." This principle became clear to Reverend Jeffrey Brown in 1992 when responding to escalating gang violence in Boston. Despite months of meetings among community leaders, they had failed to include the perspectives of the young people themselves. The breakthrough came when Reverend Eugene Rivers challenged the group to stop merely talking and start engaging directly with those affected by the violence.
Presence begins with physically showing up. Jeffrey and fellow ministers walked Boston's toughest neighborhoods at night, approaching young people not with toughness but with gentleness and genuine interest. This approach disrupted expectations and opened doors to connection. Rather than trying to demonstrate power, they approached with kindness and curiosity. Research by Fiske, Glick, and Cuddy shows that when meeting someone new, we quickly assess two dimensions: warmth (trustworthiness) and competence (respect). While most people want to be seen as competent, trustworthiness is actually judged first and matters more for influence.
Jeffrey's breakthrough came when he finally dropped his polished facade with a young man named Tyler who kept mocking his "silk" jacket. When Jeffrey finally snapped back authentically, Tyler responded, "Yeah, now you're being real. You were being silk before." This moment of genuine connection allowed a real conversation to begin. Jeffrey realized that to connect with these young people, he had to be his sincere self without barriers or facades. Revealing your true self creates space for others to do the same.
William Ury, cofounder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, calls listening "the most profound act of human respect." When meeting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez during a potential civil war, Ury abandoned his prepared recommendations and instead just listened, seeking to understand Chavez's perspective. This approach led to unexpected progress.
Listening is difficult because we fear not being taken seriously, so we talk first to prove ourselves and maintain control. Yet true listening requires suspending judgment, creating safety for honesty, and overcoming fear of silence. When we stop talking and truly listen, people trust us, we gain useful information, we see others as individuals rather than stereotypes, we develop solutions others will accept, and people become more willing to listen to us in return.
Jeffrey's work with the street committee became a Harvard Business School case study taught for over twenty years. When Jeffrey visits classes where his case is taught, students experience his remarkable presence firsthand. Despite having read about him, nothing prepares them for meeting him in person. When he enters the room, the class falls silent in awe. Though dressed casually in jeans and a blazer, he speaks with a deep, calm, resonant voice. He embodies honesty and humility balanced with confidence and strength. He never rushes, doesn't fear pauses, and because he's comfortable with silence, his students become comfortable too. This is how presence begets presence-through authenticity rather than explanation.
Chapitre 5
The Impostor Syndrome Epidemic
Impostor syndrome-the paralyzing belief that we've been given something we didn't earn and don't deserve-prevents presence by making us discordant, frazzled, and unconvincing. When we feel like frauds, we overthink and second-guess ourselves, fixating on others' judgments and mentally reviewing our every word. It steals our power and suffocates our presence.
Pauline Rose Clance, while a doctoral student in clinical psychology in the late 1960s, battled persistent fears of inadequacy despite her achievements. Growing up in Appalachia with limited educational resources, she never expected to attend college. Though she excelled academically, her self-doubts intensified in graduate school. Later, as a faculty member at Oberlin College, she discovered many high-achieving students shared these same fears, believing their accomplishments were due to luck rather than ability. This observation led Pauline to formally research what she called "the impostor phenomenon"-an internal experience of intellectual phoniness.
Initially, researchers believed impostor syndrome primarily affected high-achieving women, but Pauline Clance soon discovered men experienced it equally. The difference was that men were less likely to discuss these feelings openly, fearing "stereotype backlash"-punishment for failing to conform to societal expectations of male strength and confidence. Research has since found impostorism across countless demographic groups: teachers, physicians, students, entrepreneurs, and people of various ages, cultures, and backgrounds.
Even extraordinary achievements can't dispel impostor feelings. In fact, success often intensifies them, creating a cruel irony where accomplishments make us feel more fraudulent. Like Elena, a PhD physicist from the South Bronx who internalized professors' dismissive attitudes despite her remarkable abilities, impostors attribute successes to external factors like luck rather than their own talent. This self-defeating pattern leads to harmful behaviors: expecting failure despite past successes, overestimating mistakes, and relentless self-criticism.
Impostorism creates a vicious cycle of hypervigilance where we're constantly monitoring others' perceptions, which diminishes our cognitive resources and undermines our performance. Research shows this self-monitoring prevents us from being present and responding authentically. The consequences extend beyond personal distress-studies by Jessica Collett found impostor fears frequently cause "downshifting," where talented individuals lower their professional ambitions to avoid potential exposure as frauds.
I experienced impostorism firsthand after my brain injury disrupted my academic identity. Despite eventually making it to Princeton for graduate school, I remained haunted by the feeling I didn't belong. When required to give a twenty-minute talk during my first year, I was so terrified I told my adviser I wanted to quit. She insisted I continue, saying, "You're going to do the talk. And keep doing it-even if you have to fake it-until you have a moment when you realize that you can do it."
Most of us feel like impostors, yet we believe we're alone in this experience. Even when we learn others share our fears, we dismiss their concerns while maintaining our own are legitimate. This isolation makes the experience worse, activating the same brain areas as physical pain.
While we may never completely shed our impostor fears, we can learn to manage them better. As Neil Gaiman discovered through wisdom from author Gene Wolfe: "You never figure out how to write a novel; you just learn how to write the novel that you're on." Similarly with impostor syndrome-we won't permanently eliminate these anxieties, but can become more aware of them, communicate about them, and more easily dismiss them when they resurface.
Chapitre 6
The Psychology of Power and Powerlessness
Powerlessness creates a cycle of insecurity, anxiety and defeat that convinces us we lack control over our situations. This activates our psychological "inhibition system," making us threat-focused, anxious and susceptible to social pressures. In contrast, power activates our "approach system," making us feel free, unthreatened and opportunity-focused. Essentially, power enables presence, while powerlessness obstructs it.
Two distinct types of power shape our lives: social power and personal power. Social power is about dominance and controlling others through access to valued resources-it's finite and zero-sum. Personal power is freedom from others' dominance-infinite access to our inner resources like skills, values, and our boldest selves.
Social power is power *over* others; personal power is power *to* control ourselves. While both are valuable, personal power is essential for presence. Even those with significant social power can lack personal power and feel like impostors. Conversely, personal power can naturally increase our social power as we become more compelling by authentically representing ourselves.
Powerlessness creates a devastating chain reaction that further disables us when we most need our capabilities. It severely compromises our cognitive functions precisely when we need them most. When we perceive situations as threats rather than challenges and feel unable to access our resources, anxiety spikes, impairing our executive functions-reasoning, task flexibility, and attention control. Studies show that people primed to feel powerless make more errors on cognitive tasks requiring updating information, inhibiting impulses, and strategic planning.
Anxiety not only impairs our thinking but also makes us painfully self-focused. Research shows anxious people struggle to adopt others' perspectives, remaining trapped in their own viewpoint. This self-absorption creates a bidirectional cycle-the more self-focused we become, the more anxious we feel, and vice versa. This manifests as the "spotlight effect"-our tendency to dramatically overestimate how much others notice our flaws or mistakes.
While powerlessness depletes us, feeling powerful creates the opposite effect. Power acts as a buffer against negative emotions, thickening our skin against judgment, rejection, stress, and even physical pain. Studies of romantic relationships show that on days when people feel more powerful, they experience fewer negative emotions even when facing rejection from partners. In physical pain experiments, subjects randomly assigned to high-power roles endured ice water immersion nearly twice as long as those in low-power roles.
Contrary to stereotypes, feeling powerful can enhance our ability to read and relate to others. In experiments where subjects were primed with power-related words, they more accurately identified the thoughts and feelings of people in videos compared to those primed with powerless words. Powerful people are also more forgiving, especially toward those they feel committed to. Rather than being vigilant and defensive, they approach others with openness.
Power enhances cognitive function. Pamela Smith's research shows that powerful people process information more abstractly, detecting patterns and relationships that others miss. Power makes us fearless and independent, less susceptible to outside pressures, which boosts creativity. When we feel powerful, we become less self-conscious about expressing our feelings and beliefs, freeing us to think more expansively.
Feeling powerful harmonizes our internal states, bringing us closer to presence. In experiments where people discussed topics with strangers, powerful individuals showed nonverbal expressions that closely matched their self-reported emotions-if they felt happy and told a happy story, they smiled. The powerless showed a disconnect between their expressions and feelings.
As Angela Davis said, "I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept." Experiments consistently show that feeling powerful makes people more proactive. Power particularly enhances performance under pressure, providing a lift in high-stakes situations while powerlessness deflates performance.
Chapitre 7
The Body Language of Power
Before a New Zealand rugby match, the All Blacks perform a traditional Maori haka-a powerful choreographed dance that serves as an extraordinary display of dominance and power. The team arranges themselves in formation facing their opponents, then moves through a series of powerful postures with controlled ferocity-widened eyes, bulging chests, stomping feet, and loud, deep chants. The performance ends with wild eyes and protruding tongues in what's called a pukana, an "act of defiance" that essentially says "Bring it on."
Power doesn't just expand our minds-it physically enlarges our bodies. Across the animal kingdom, dominance is expressed through expansive, open postures: widespread limbs, erect posture, and occupation of maximum space. When we feel powerful, we instinctively make ourselves bigger-shoulders back, chin lifted, chest puffed, arms raised. We see this in iconic poses like Wonder Woman's stance, gymnasts' pre-routine displays with arms in a V-shape, and victorious athletes crossing finish lines.
Power manifests in how we move through space. Research using digital motion capture reveals that powerful walking involves expansiveness-longer strides, pronounced arm movements, and vertical head motion. In contrast, powerless walking appears restricted with minimal arm movement, a stationary head, and shorter strides. Our voices similarly expand with power-we speak more slowly, initiate speech more often, make more eye contact, and unconsciously lower our vocal pitch, making our voices sound "bigger."
While power expands, powerlessness physically shrinks us. When feeling subordinate, we constrict our posture-tightening and wrapping our bodies, making ourselves smaller with limbs touching torso, chest caved inward, shoulders slumped, and head lowered. Our gestures and speech become restricted through hesitation, rushing, higher pitch, and limited vocal range. Even our facial expressions become inhibited with constricted muscles.
One particularly revealing gesture of powerlessness is wrapping a hand around the neck-a protective movement covering the carotid artery that signals fear and vulnerability. Other animals display similar behaviors: low-ranking chimps adopt fetal-like positions, submissive dogs flatten their bodies with tails between legs, and low-status whooping cranes lower their heads below others.
Men generally display more expansive body language than women, who show more contractive, submissive nonverbal behavior. Men talk more, interrupt more, and are interrupted less. In walking studies, women's movements are far more restricted on power-related dimensions like arm movement, head movement, and stride length.
Columbia professor Adam Galinsky argues that gender differences largely equate with power differences-behaviors typical of women mirror those of powerless people regardless of gender. Cultural factors significantly influence these differences. Research with children reveals that by age six, 85% associate expansive postures with males and contractive postures with females, with 44% making this association perfectly-a stronger bias than four-year-olds show.
While expansive "be big" postures may work for scaring off cougars in the wild, such overtly dominant "cowboy poses" often backfire in everyday social interactions. Research shows that while we pay attention to high-status individuals, we actually avert our gaze from those overtly displaying dominance-just as chimpanzees and gorillas do. In eye-tracking experiments, participants viewing photos of people in dominant poses quickly averted their gaze from faces, looking instead at legs, feet, or away entirely.
The goal should be intimacy, not intimidation-"power to" rather than "power over." Aggressive displays like "manspreading" or using ultraerect postures and extra-firm handshakes in job interviews typically backfire, as interviewers view such obvious body language tactics as inauthentic and manipulative.
Chapitre 8
How Your Body Creates Your Mind
Cuddy expresses puzzlement at the persistent myth that body, brain, and mind are separate entities, when they clearly form an integrated system. She cites psychologist Oakley Ray's observation that networks of communication between neurological, endocrine and immune systems eliminate any real division between mind and body. Cuddy then introduces William James's revolutionary idea that bodily experiences cause emotions rather than the reverse-captured in his famous assertion "I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing." James proposed that emotions are interpretations of our bodily experiences, suggesting we can "fake" emotions until we actualize them.
The 1974 Laird experiment and subsequent research has consistently proven William James's hypothesis that bodily expressions cause emotions. In Strack, Martin, and Stepper's 1988 study, participants holding pens in their mouths to engage smiling muscles found cartoons funnier than those whose smile muscles were inhibited. This facial feedback effect works for negative emotions too-water dripped near tear ducts induced sadness, and furrowed brows increased feelings of anger. The connection is so powerful that Botox injections, which paralyze forehead "grief muscles," have been shown to reduce depression symptoms by blocking the facial feedback loop.
Our bodies don't just carry us where we want to go-they help carry us to who we want to be. This body-mind connection becomes particularly evident when examining post-traumatic stress (PTS), which creates profound disharmony between body and mind. Traditional PTS treatments target thought patterns, but some experts like Bessel van der Kolk argue that "trauma has nothing whatsoever to do with cognition... It has to do with your body being reset to interpret the world as a dangerous place." This perspective suggests trauma lives in the body and must be healed there.
The remarkable effects of yoga on veterans with PTS proved lasting and transformative. One year after Seppala's study, participants still showed dramatically reduced symptoms, with many returning to normal social functioning. These effects aren't limited to trauma survivors-even brief 15-minute chair yoga sessions can significantly decrease stress and breathing rates while increasing heart-rate variability, indicating better synchronization between breathing and heart function.
Our bodies don't just reflect our emotions-they create them. Neuroscientist Pierre Philippot demonstrated this by having subjects alter their breathing patterns to induce specific emotions like joy or fear. When these breathing techniques were taught to others (without mentioning the emotional connection), they experienced the corresponding emotions. Simple breathing adjustments-like slow, deep nasal breathing with a relaxed rib cage-can trigger joy.
The evidence overwhelmingly supports William James's theory that our bodies speak to us, telling us how to feel and think through facial expressions, postures, and breathing. This raises an intriguing possibility: can we use our whole bodies-through posture and movement-to enhance our personal power when we need it most? Can we literally pose our way to presence?
Chapitre 9
The Science of Power Posing
As a child growing up in a remote state park, I befriended small creatures like pill bugs that would curl into protective balls when touched. Years later, after my car accident, I found myself adopting a similar posture as a passenger-knees pulled to chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, chin tucked in-physically manifesting my feelings of powerlessness and fear. This physical response to feeling powerless resurfaced years later when I noticed similar patterns in my non-participating Harvard Business School students. While confident students moved freely, gesticulated, and sat upright with shoulders back when participating in class, the quiet students physically shrank-hunching over books, raising hands apologetically with bent elbows, and wrapping themselves in their own limbs.
After observing how nonparticipating students physically manifested their insecurity through contracted postures, my colleagues Dana Carney, Andy Yap and I designed experiments to test whether expansive postures could actually cause people to feel more powerful. We selected five high-power poses (expansive and open) and five low-power poses (constricted and closed) that were rated significantly differently on a power scale by participants. In our first experiment, subjects who held high-power poses for just minutes were significantly more likely (33% versus 8%) to take risks in a gambling scenario and reported feeling more powerful than those who held low-power poses. In our second experiment, we measured hormonal changes and found high-power posers showed a 19% increase in testosterone and 25% decrease in cortisol, while low-power posers showed the opposite pattern.
The most robust finding from power posing research is that expansive, open postures make us feel more powerful, confident, assertive, and optimistic while reducing stress and anxiety. This effect works across cultures, though with some nuances-East Asians express power more vertically while Westerners do so horizontally. Even subtle forms of expansion like good posture can be effective.
Posture shapes not just how we feel but how we think about ourselves-affecting our self-descriptions and the certainty with which we hold our self-concepts. Jamini Kwon, a graduate student at Seoul National University, discovered this connection firsthand after experiencing medication-induced partial paralysis that left her bedridden. During this time of physical contraction, she struggled with depression and hopelessness. Only when she gradually returned to painting, which required her to stand and expand her arms, did she begin to recover mentally as well as physically.
Power posing activates our behavioral approach system, making us more likely to assert ourselves and seize opportunities. In studies, people who briefly sat in upright postures chose seats closer to the head of the table for team tasks, while slouchers avoided prominent positions. Expansive postures also help people with eating disorders consume healthier amounts of calories, increase pro-social behaviors like helping others, and enhance persistence when facing challenges.
Our physical posture prepares our bodies to be present. When feeling anxious, we tend toward fight-or-flight responses that remove us from the present moment. Expansive postures help ground us physically-research shows they can even make physical objects feel lighter. In sports, rushed and avoidant body language correlates with poorer performance. Expansive body language physiologically prepares us to stay grounded and engaged rather than fleeing or fighting.
The combined effects of expansive postures-increased confidence, decreased stress, positive self-image, and physical groundedness-facilitate presence during challenging moments. In a study with mock job interviews, candidates who prepared with high-power poses (done before, not during the interview) performed significantly better and were more likely to be "hired." While the content of their speeches wasn't affected, their nonverbal presence (confidence, enthusiasm, captivation) dramatically improved, which directly influenced hiring decisions.
Chapitre 10
Small Changes, Big Results
I used to panic under pressure, rushing to fix problems immediately from a place of anxiety. My friend Holly would remind me, "You don't have to do anything today." I eventually realized two crucial insights: slowing down is a power move-an expression of personal authority-and doing nothing is actually doing something valuable. When we hastily react from anxiety, outcomes suffer. We achieve presence not through dramatic transformation but through gentle, incremental nudges that build upon themselves.
Around 2005, economists and psychologists began exploring how subtle nudges could effectively change behavior better than demanding dramatic shifts. In their 2008 book "Nudge," Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein inspired policy makers worldwide to rethink behavioral change. The UK's Behavioural Insights Team demonstrated this by simply reminding taxpayers that most citizens pay on time, collecting 210 million in additional revenue. Unlike traditional approaches that make big asks (like expensive home renovations for energy savings), companies like Opower achieved widespread energy reductions by showing households how their usage compared to neighbors with simple smiley faces.
Carol Dweck's groundbreaking research shows that children thrive when they adopt a growth mindset-believing they can improve through effort-rather than a fixed mindset that abilities are unchangeable. Schools should praise process, strategies, and perseverance instead of intelligence and talent. David Yeager demonstrated this principle beyond academics: ninth graders who read about personality being malleable showed no increase in depression symptoms nine months later, while the control group showed a 39% increase.
Self-nudges create lasting effects in two key ways. First, our behavior reinforces itself-when we act with courage once, we can recall that experience in similar future challenges, strengthening our sense of agency and self-efficacy. Body-mind approaches like power posing bypass the psychological obstacles of verbal self-affirmations, which often fail because they require believing something we don't yet feel. Second, other people reinforce our behavior through their responses. When we display confident body language, others respond in kind, unconsciously reinforcing both their perception of us and our self-perception.
New Year's resolutions typically fail because they're too ambitious, focus on distant results rather than immediate process, emphasize negative aspects of ourselves, and replace intrinsic motivation with external pressure. By focusing on outcomes ("becoming a runner") rather than process (enjoying a single run), we set ourselves up for perceived failure and lose motivation. The solution is to make tiny, manageable changes that build intrinsic motivation.
Body-mind interventions are powerful self-nudges, but researchers are discovering other small tweaks that improve psychological well-being. Alison Wood Brooks's research shows that when facing anxiety-inducing situations like public speaking or performing, telling yourself to "get excited" rather than "calm down" leads to better performance. Anxiety is a high-arousal emotion with automatic physiological responses that can't be quickly shut down, but excitement is also high-arousal yet positive. By reframing anxiety as excitement, we shift our mindset from threat to opportunity.
Chapitre 11
From Faking It to Becoming It
I've received thousands of stories from people who applied the science of presence to transform their lives-though they changed their own lives, not me. These stories show how people facing challenges used body-mind principles to access their boldest, most authentic selves. What resonated most in my TED talk wasn't the research but my confession that "I don't deserve to be here"-people found comfort knowing they weren't alone in that feeling.
Will, a 21-year-old college student and part-time actor, was invited to audition for a major motion picture despite feeling it was out of his league. Overwhelmed with anxiety in the waiting room, he remembered his friend's advice about power posing. He went to the bathroom, struck a Wonder Woman pose for two minutes, and returned feeling transformed. He entered the audition "without a care in the world," performed with confidence, and left feeling he "nailed it"-regardless of the outcome. Will (coincidentally surnamed Cuddy) did get the part in the Oscar-nominated film "Wild." His story exemplifies the ideal effect of presence: executing with comfortable confidence and leaving with satisfaction regardless of measurable outcomes.
Many people apply presence techniques to professional and academic challenges. Melanie, after being laid off and feeling demoralized, practiced power poses before job interviews and changed her posture during them-receiving offers from two of three employers. Thomas, a business owner who struggled with conveying expertise to dominant people, used power posing before video conferences and found himself speaking more naturally, ultimately landing a major contract.
Power posing and athletics form a natural partnership, with victory postures matching the positions that laboratory research shows increase confidence. Olympic swimming coaches have successfully used power posing strategies, having swimmers physically behave as if they'd won their events starting from the morning of competition. Kenyon College's swimming coach found that power posing particularly benefited athletes who felt pressure from their own thoughts.
Power posing has helped people facing severe difficulties regain control over their lives. Combat veterans with PTSD have used body language awareness to overcome symptoms of uneasiness and hypervigilance. In women's prisons, inmates learn to use power posing for judicial hearings, investigations, test-taking, and interviews. A homeless man found that consciously adopting power poses helped him combat shame and depression despite his circumstances.
Power posing principles extend beyond humans to animals. A horse trainer named Kathy applied these concepts to help Vafi, a physically strong but psychologically submissive horse at the bottom of the herd hierarchy. By devising exercises that made him "act like a badass" through predator-like movements, she transformed him within days. The previously introverted horse began initiating play and showing off his talents.
After her divorce at thirty, Kristin moved to South America seeking new experiences. Working at a local cafe, she endured escalating sexual harassment from her boss. Feeling "smaller and smaller," she prepared to confront her boss by dressing confidently and standing tall with hands on hips for several minutes. Walking to the confrontation, she felt herself "getting bigger and bigger." When she arrived, her boss seemed smaller than in her mind. She calmly explained why his behavior was wrong, and he apologized repeatedly. Kristin felt "incredible generosity" and compassion from a position of strength rather than dominance.
The book's core message is about being present during challenging moments. Rather than "fake it till you make it," I advocate "fake it till you become it"-incrementally nudging yourself toward becoming your best self. It's not about fooling others to get what you want but about fooling yourself just enough to feel more powerful and present, then maintaining this practice. As one woman wrote to me, "faking it sure is better than avoiding it!" Echoing William James's advice to "begin to be now what you will be hereafter," I encourage you to "seize the large, beautiful, powerful parts of yourself" that are "yours for the taking."
