Chapitre 1
The Power of Small Changes: A Journey to Your Best Life
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly maintain energy, happiness, and success while others struggle despite their best efforts? The answer might be simpler than you think. In "100 Ways to Change Your Life," wellness expert Liz Moody reveals that transformation doesn't require dramatic overhauls but rather small, strategic shifts that compound over time. This approach has garnered attention from celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Kourtney Kardashian, who have incorporated Moody's methods into their wellness routines. What makes this book particularly compelling is how it challenges the all-or-nothing mentality that dominates today's wellness culture. After interviewing hundreds of experts for her top-rated podcast, Moody discovered that the most powerful life changes often begin with a single, seemingly insignificant habit-like her own journey that started with a daily green smoothie and eventually led to complete transformation. In a world obsessed with quick fixes and radical reinventions, this book offers something refreshingly different: evidence-based, accessible strategies that actually work.
Chapitre 2
Finding Your Path: The Foundation of Personal Change
Above all, your wellness practices should reduce suffering, not create more of it. This simple principle cuts through the noise of modern wellness culture, where we're often encouraged to endure unpleasant regimens for supposed benefits. Science confirms that when healthy choices feel good, we're more likely to maintain them. A study showed that people choose nutritious options more frequently when they're framed as pleasurable rather than merely healthy. The most effective exercise isn't the one with the most impressive scientific backing-it's the one you'll actually do consistently.
This personalized approach extends to understanding your unique body. Dr. Sara Gottfried recommends conducting "N-of-1 experiments"-essentially becoming your own clinical trial. While population studies like Blue Zones research identify general patterns in healthy populations, they can't tell you which factors matter most for your specific biology. When experimenting with supplements or dietary changes, introduce one variable at a time and track impacts using technology (like continuous glucose monitors) or simple symptom diaries. This methodical approach helps identify what genuinely works for your body rather than following generic advice.
Perhaps counterintuitively, contemplating your mortality can be one of the most life-affirming practices. Death doula Alua Arthur explains that thinking about death reminds us to fully experience life's emotions. Visualizing your funeral-who would attend and what they might say-helps distinguish between momentary discomfort and the profound regret of an unfulfilled life. Psychologist Dr. Julie Smith suggests asking, "What would you do if you knew you only had twenty days to live?" The answers are often surprisingly simple-spending time with loved ones or enjoying favorite places. This perspective clarifies which concerns truly matter and which are ultimately inconsequential. Instead of writing a life script without knowing the destination, we can shape our journey with the end in mind.
When it comes to creating lasting habits, timing matters significantly. The "fresh start effect" makes accomplishing goals easier by leveraging temporal landmarks like the beginning of a month, a new home, Monday, or a new year. These moments create psychological clean slates that boost motivation. When implementing changes, identifying and committing to these fresh start moments increases your likelihood of success.
Equally important is setting appropriate goals. Many people fail because they create targets that are too large or distant. Dr. Katy Milkman explains that defining both long-term goals and smaller daily actions makes success more likely. These bite-sized goals make intimidating aspirations feel manageable ("Each day I'm going to walk for ten minutes" rather than "I want to get in shape"), combat procrastination by creating specific daily commitments, and reduce stress by closing the gap between intention and action.
Chapitre 3
Energy Engineering: Fueling Your Best Self
The concept of metabolism needs reframing-it's not about weight loss tricks but about how our bodies convert food to energy. Dr. Casey Means explains, "Metabolism is how we convert food to energy in the body...Metabolism is the power of our life." Metabolic dysfunction affects cellular energy production throughout the body, contributing to conditions from PCOS to depression, chronic pain, diabetes risk, and fatigue. Alarmingly, 93% of Americans have at least one biomarker of metabolic dysfunction.
To create metabolically supportive meals, focus on five key components: maximize micronutrients/antioxidants, fiber, omega-3s, probiotics, and minimize refined grains/sugars. This might mean adding seeds or herbs for micronutrients, fermented foods for probiotics, vegetables for fiber, and sources like sardines or chia seeds for omega-3s. While not every meal needs to be perfect, using this mental checklist can improve both metabolic health and meal satisfaction.
Brief bursts of movement throughout the day yield outsized health benefits. Dr. Rangan Chatterjee hasn't missed his five-minute morning workout in three years-not because of extraordinary motivation, but because he's made it ridiculously easy by stacking it with his coffee routine. Research confirms these micro-workouts are metabolically superior: one study showed twelve five-minute exercise bouts spread throughout the day improved blood sugar and insulin levels better than a single hour-long session, despite equal total movement time. These micro-movements not only boost energy and mood but crucially break up prolonged sedentary periods that increase risk for numerous health conditions.
Setting boundaries is another transformative energy practice that prevents unnecessary drain. As Melissa Urban, author of The Book of Boundaries explains, "Setting a boundary can be uncomfortable, but it's a momentary discomfort that leads to actual change and brings real freedom into your life." Without boundaries, we waste energy avoiding difficult interactions, build resentment toward others, and signal to ourselves that our needs don't matter. To identify where boundaries are needed, notice where you feel dread, anxiety, or an inability to be your authentic self. One powerful practice is taking a pause before responding to any request-this creates space to check in with your own needs rather than automatically accommodating others.
Cold exposure offers one of the smallest time investments with enormous psychological and physiological returns. Endorsed by numerous experts including dopamine researcher Dr. Anna Lembke and neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart Bieber, cold showers work through hormesis-where tolerable stress creates positive bodily effects. Research shows cold exposure reduces muscle soreness, improves recovery, positively changes metabolism, fights inflammation, reduces cortisol, and increases norepinephrine for decreased stress and increased wellbeing. Just two minutes of cold water at the end of your regular shower can deliver these benefits. The immediate energy boost and mental clarity create a sense of invincibility that carries throughout the day-if you can withstand icy water on your vulnerable body, you can handle anything life throws at you.
Chapitre 4
Productivity Reimagined: Doing Less, Accomplishing More
Productivity isn't about frenetic busyness-it's about making space to do less with intention. Chris Bailey, author of The Productivity Project, explains the difference between being busy and being productive through his "rule of three." This simple practice involves asking yourself each morning: "What three main things will I want to have accomplished by day's end?" These three priorities become your focus, ensuring you're moving your life in your chosen direction rather than getting lost in mindless tasks.
Our time is our most precious resource, yet we often fail to value it appropriately. Outsourcing tasks-contrary to popular belief-isn't just for the wealthy. The author first hired cleaning help in her twenties despite tight finances, as it eliminated relationship friction over housekeeping. By cutting back on clothing purchases, she made room in her budget for meal preparation services that provided far greater happiness. Before dismissing outsourcing as unaffordable, consider whether your discretionary spending on material items truly provides more joy than reclaiming your time and mental energy.
Despite our unique chronological clocks, brains, and bodies, most of us adhere to identical schedules. Career coach Amina AlTai suggests designing your work around your natural energy patterns instead. Start by observing when you feel most creative, when you prefer solitude versus collaboration, and when you're best suited for different types of work. Then strategically map your day accordingly-schedule deep work during your most inspired hours, save email for mental downtime, and communicate your needs to colleagues. The key is recognizing that your optimal work conditions differ from others', and by honoring these differences, you'll feel more effective, productive, and content.
Procrastination derails productivity when we choose immediate gratification over long-term goals. Dr. Katy Milkman from Wharton suggests using "commitment devices"-self-imposed penalties designed to keep us on track. These function like being your own manager, creating consequences for not meeting self-set deadlines. Commitment devices take various forms: apps that financially penalize you by donating to causes you dislike when you miss targets; non-cancelable financial commitments like workout classes or vegetable deliveries that align with your goals; or social commitment devices like arranging to meet a friend that leverage our desire to avoid disappointing others.
Productivity expert Chris Bailey discovered through self-experimentation that having more time doesn't necessarily mean accomplishing more. Working 90-hour weeks produced only slightly better results than 20-hour weeks. This demonstrates Parkinson's law: work expands to fill the time available for its completion. A large-scale UK pilot program of 32-hour workweeks across 61 companies proved this principle dramatically: employee stress decreased by 39%, burnout reduced by 71%, while company revenues increased by 35% compared to previous years. Try artificially limiting your time-give yourself fifteen minutes to tidy your house or twenty minutes to go through emails-and watch how much you can accomplish.
Chapitre 5
Unlocking Creativity: The Art of Mental Freedom
Actor and creator Josh Peck shares that the secret to creative success is simply to begin. "The right time is always right now," he quotes from Casey Neistat. In today's world, there are fewer gatekeepers but also fewer excuses-anyone with a smartphone has enough technology to create content. Many aspiring creatives get stuck in preparation mode, constantly comparing their beginner work to experts' polished output. The difference between someone with a successful project and someone without one is often simply that the successful person began, even when their early work wasn't great.
Science writer Annie Murphy Paul reveals that gesturing isn't just for communication-it actually enhances our thinking. Research shows our gestures precede our verbal expressions by milliseconds, helping us find the right words and concepts. Gesturing also improves memory: studies demonstrate that people who gesture while encoding information recall it more easily later. Speakers remember speeches better when using actions with words, actors better recall scripts through gestures, and children retain more knowledge when they move while learning. Rather than viewing gestures and fidgeting as unprofessional or distracting, we should recognize them as tools that enhance cognition and creativity.
Want to supercharge your creativity? Neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart Bieber reveals that intentional idleness activates our brain's default network-the creative thinking powerhouse. Unlike accidental daydreaming during focused work, purposeful mental wandering triggers a completely different neurochemical profile. "Your brain knows the difference between when you've done something on purpose or not," she explains. This default network enables flexible thinking and pattern recognition that our control-focused daily routines rarely activate. Science writer Annie Murphy Paul adds that "incubation"-letting our nonconscious mind puzzle over problems-explains why our best ideas emerge in the shower or during walks.
If sitting still feels impossible, science offers an active alternative for boosting creativity: high-intensity exercise. According to Annie Murphy Paul, intense running occupies your brain with bodily demands, causing your prefrontal cortex-the judgmental, planning part-to dial down activity. This creates a state similar to dreaming or psychedelic experiences where "ideas and associations can collide and combine in really creative ways." To maximize this creative potential, clearly define your problem before working out: "How can I make this introduction flow into the first chapter?" or "How can I frame this presentation compellingly?" When facing creative blocks, you have two scientifically-backed options: do less (intentional nothing) or physically exhaust yourself with high-intensity movement.
Chapitre 6
Success Redefined: Building Your Authentic Path
Newton's first law of thermodynamics-an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion-became my unexpected productivity hack. One day, melting into my couch, phone in hand, procrastinating despite knowing I had work to do, I realized: the key wasn't forcing myself to work but simply changing my state in the smallest possible way. Getting into ANY motion would make staying in motion easier. Instead of pushing myself to start working (too big a state change), I set a much lower bar-making a cup of tea. Once up, with my limbs "having regained their solid state," continuing to my computer became effortless. Now when procrastination hits, I take the tiniest step toward motion: five jumping jacks, brushing teeth, sending one email. Once inertia propels you forward, you'll be shocked how well this physics principle transforms your productivity.
Financial expert Ramit Sethi challenges us to think beyond saving money to how we actually want to spend it-creating our unique "Rich Life." Most of us spend decades accumulating wealth without clearly defining why. After basic needs are met, Sethi recommends two questions to discover your authentic financial dreams. First: What do you love spending money on? The key is distinguishing between what society tells you to value versus what truly brings you joy. Second question: What would it look like if you could quadruple your spending on that thing? This separates minor preferences from true passions. After covering basics, these passions should guide your spending. Financial wellness touches every aspect of life-don't waste hours earning money for things that don't align with your personal Rich Life.
Charisma isn't mystical or limited to extroverts and beauties-researchers have identified its exact components. According to bestselling author Vanessa Van Edwards, charismatic people balance two key traits: warmth (likability, friendliness, approachability) and competence (power, capability, memorability). "That sweet spot of being both likable and powerful is the definition of high charisma." We can deliberately enhance these traits through specific "cues." For warmth, try head tilts-"a universal sign of warmth" that physically improves listening-along with visible-palm waves, nods, smiles, and vocalizations like "hmm" and "oh" that make others feel understood. For competence, practice "maximizing"-keeping space between earlobe and shoulder, head angled up, shoulders down, and body relaxed and open.
We all have innate gifts-areas where we're "off-the-charts amazing" without forcing it, according to career coach Amina AlTai. Operating in these zones creates expansive contributions, while forcing ourselves to improve at things we're not designed for drains energy and leads to burnout. To discover your gifts, ask yourself: When do you find flow? What unique qualities do you bring to rooms or projects? What do others see as your exceptional abilities? Take it further by texting people who truly know you from different life spheres and ask what they consider your unique gifts. Though initially awkward, people are typically receptive, and their insights often reveal strengths you overlook. While we can't always operate in our genius zone, aim for the "sixty-forty rule"-if 60% of your time engages your gifts and brings joy, you're doing well.
Nearly everyone experiences impostor syndrome-up to 82% of us feel secretly unqualified despite evidence to the contrary. Even world-class experts and top performers struggle with it. Valerie Young, who cofounded the Impostor Syndrome Institute, explains we dismiss concrete evidence of our abilities, attributing success to external factors while fearing exposure. To overcome this, first recognize our bias for negative information-we believe the one critic over ninety-nine supporters. Gain perspective by accepting not everyone will like you, and that's okay. Ask yourself "And then what?" when catastrophizing failure-the consequences are usually less dire than imagined. Actively seek criticism to reframe it as improvement information rather than proof of inadequacy. Watch for self-undermining statements like "I can't believe they paid me this much" or "Anyone could have done it." Instead, focus on facts: you did get paid that amount; you are running the meeting.
Chapitre 7
The Journey Inward: Cultivating Self-Love and Acceptance
Wellness discussions often include vague platitudes about self-love without practical instructions. Author Jamie Varon offers a different approach: start with self-trust, not self-love. "If you're saying you love yourself, but don't trust yourself, you're essentially lying," she explains. Self-trust builds like trust in any relationship-through kept promises. When we repeatedly break promises to ourselves (skipping meditation, postponing creative projects, eating poorly), we erode self-trust, making self-love statements feel hollow. Begin with small, achievable promises rather than overwhelming commitments. These tiny evidences of reliability create the foundation for genuine self-trust, allowing self-love statements to finally ring true.
When we consistently feel bad day-to-day, it's often because we're living by unwritten rules that don't serve us-rules that began as momentary compromises but evolved into patterns of prioritizing others while neglecting ourselves. Dr. Aziz Gazipura, psychologist and author of "Not Nice," recommends creating a personal Bill of Rights as an antidote. This document lists things you're giving yourself permission to do or feel, regardless of societal expectations. To create yours, imagine what your life would look like without the "shoulds," or consider what rights you'd insist on for someone you love. Treat this as a living document to consult during decisions and add to as needed. Some sample rights include: feeling any feeling, advocating for yourself, saying no, asking for what you want, being treated with respect, liking or disliking things without explanation, challenging people, and upsetting people when necessary.
While gratitude practices have strong scientific backing for improving wellbeing (as neurons that fire together wire together), Dr. Tara Swart Bieber offers a powerful variation: focus on internal resources rather than external circumstances. During her divorce, she shifted from gratitude for things in her life to gratitude for qualities within herself, building confidence that she could handle whatever came next. If you struggle to identify positive self-qualities, try two approaches: First, identify with powerful icons by selecting someone you admire, listing their admirable qualities, then meditating to embody those characteristics yourself. Second, physically care for yourself, as Dr. Swart Bieber notes belief isn't just mental-when you're well-fed, hydrated and rested, you're less likely to think negatively. This aligns with Dr. Ellen Vora's concept of "false moods"-our physical state profoundly affects our mental perception.
In a world full of noise, discerning our true values can be challenging. Harvard psychologist Dr. Susan David suggests our emotions hold the key-if we stop suppressing them and instead recognize them as vital information sources. The first step is ending self-shame about having emotions, which she categorizes as "type one" (feeling sad, angry, etc.) versus "type two" (judging ourselves for having those feelings). We must recognize every emotional experience as part of our evolutionary adaptive system. When difficult emotions arise, they're signposts that a value is threatened or a need is unmet. Loneliness signals a need for intimacy and connection; boredom indicates you value learning and growth; grief is "love looking for its home." These emotions aren't just things to tolerate-they're data flagging your deepest needs and values.
Rather than focusing on "body positivity," which has been co-opted from its original purpose of accepting marginalized bodies, I advocate for body love-a deep, abiding commitment, appreciation and respect. Your body is for living, not looking, and loving it doesn't require finding it aesthetically pleasing. Supermodel Hunter McGrady shared a transformative exercise from her therapist: after showering, look in the mirror completely bare and name five things you love about yourself-or want to love if you can't find things you currently love. Though initially difficult and emotional, with consistent practice, Hunter found the things she wanted to love became things she actually loved, expanding from five to twenty items and moving beyond physical attributes to inner qualities.
Chapitre 8
Creating Happiness: The Science of Genuine Joy
Dr. Samantha Boardman asks clients about their three most important values, revealing how many struggle to identify what truly matters. Dr. Rick Hanson suggests tracking time in 15-minute increments for a week to expose how much is wasted on non-essential activities. The solution is intentional scheduling - adding personal goals and values-aligned activities to your calendar alongside work commitments. How we spend our hours shapes our days and ultimately our years.
Dr. Anna Lembke explains that modern life's constant stimulation creates dopamine imbalances, making us numb to simple pleasures. She describes dopamine like a teeter-totter with three rules: pleasure equals pain, repeated exposure weakens pleasure while strengthening pain, and we remember initial pleasure but forget consequences. To restore balance, moderate stimulating activities and embrace mild discomfort through exercise, cold exposure, or mental challenges.
According to Dr. Rick Hanson, we can leverage neuroplasticity for happiness. Like creating paths in a field, repeated thoughts and behaviors become easier to access. By deliberately lingering in positive moments - whether appreciating nature, physical touch, or good food - we strengthen neural pathways for happiness, making positive experiences more accessible over time.
Dr. Boardman emphasizes that helping others creates a "restored sense of time" and builds self-efficacy while preventing harmful self-focused rumination. Acts of kindness, from calling friends to helping neighbors, promote belonging and strengthen social bonds essential for wellbeing. These connections prove more fulfilling than excessive self-focus.
Catherine Price teaches that fun exists naturally if we learn to notice it. Following Ross Gay's "delights" approach, she actively acknowledges daily joys, creating a frequency illusion that reveals more positive moments. Creating a "Joy List" helps identify patterns in what consistently brings happiness. This practice distinguishes genuine joy from empty coping mechanisms and helps prioritize truly meaningful experiences.
Chapitre 9
Cultivating Connection: The Heart of Wellbeing
The Harvard Study of Adult Development-the longest study of human lives ever conducted-found that good relationships are the strongest predictor of thriving, both emotionally and physically. Dr. Marisa G. Franco offers a three-step process to deepen friendships: First, intentionally decide whom you want to get closer with, choosing people whose qualities align with what you want to cultivate in your life. Second, get vulnerable-research shows that intimate self-disclosure makes people like us more, whether sharing embarrassments, dreams, struggles, or simply expressing that you value the friendship. Third, show up for friends in times of need, as these "diagnostic moments" disproportionately impact how we view relationships. Being your truest self is the foundation of meaningful connection.
Catherine Price explains that anyone can become a "fun magnet"-someone who naturally attracts enjoyment. Her three-step process: First, adopt the improv philosophy of "yes, and" instead of dismissing ideas. Second, don't pressure yourself to perform or be funny-instead, look for opportunities to laugh and make others feel good about themselves. Finally, be intentional about giving people your full attention by putting your phone away and truly listening. When you become a fun magnet, you'll experience the health benefits that come with playful, connected flow as fun is naturally drawn toward you.
Psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco's concept of "habitual open-mindedness" means approaching every interaction without assumptions. Allow each person to create themselves over time in front of you, regardless of appearance or social position. This mindset eliminates the hierarchy that often limits friendship formation, as connection doesn't form well when we place people above or below us. When we assume who someone is-whether they're financially successful or struggling-we place obstacles in the path of potential relationships.
The secret to great conversation isn't being interesting-it's being interested. Charisma expert Vanessa Van Edwards's research shows that questions like "Working on anything exciting recently?" or "What's been a recent big highlight for you?" create more memorable interactions than autopilot questions like "What do you do?" If someone doesn't engage, either answer first to model vulnerability or accept they might not be your person. Remember that listening is crucial-people who feel heard think you're a great conversationalist. Look for what psychologists call "conversational cathexis"-topics where someone's emotional energy lies. When they light up talking about something, dig deeper there. The more the other person talks, the more they'll like you.
Many of us approach our home lives with far less care and organization than our work lives, creating chaos and inequity in household management. Olivia Amitrano suggests becoming "the CEOs of your family" through a three-step system. First, list all household tasks and assign clear ownership. Second, design systems to support each task-automated ordering, meal planning, bill autopay. Third, hold weekly meetings to check in on tasks, sync calendars, and offer mutual support when needed. Adding relationship check-ins with questions like "How did you feel cared for this week?" and "What's been on your mind?" helps prevent resentments and ensures both partners feel heard.
Chapitre 10
Whole-Body Wellness: The Foundation of Lasting Health
Every doctor I've interviewed agrees: the single best dietary approach isn't focusing on individual "superfoods" but consuming as many different plant foods as possible. The landmark American Gut Project found that the number one predictor of a healthy gut microbiome was plant diversity in our diet. Dr. Will Bulsiewicz explains that our microbiome is an ecosystem where different microbes prefer different types of fiber from different plants. The magic number from research is thirty different plants weekly, which sounds overwhelming but becomes manageable with simple strategies. A single pasta dinner with whole wheat noodles, tomato sauce, garlic, onions, mushrooms, zucchini, spinach, basil and parsley already delivers nine plants.
Nature performs a magic trick when you cook and cool certain starches like pasta or rice-they transform into resistant starches that function more like dietary fiber than carbohydrates. Dr. Robynne Chutkan explains that resistant starches bypass digestion in the small intestine and instead reach the colon intact, where gut bacteria ferment them to produce short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs). These SCFAs provide energy for colon cells, have anti-inflammatory properties, improve mineral absorption, and help regulate blood sugar by slowing digestion. You can increase resistant starch in your diet two ways: eat more type 2 resistant starch found naturally in unripe bananas, raw oats, and cashews; or create type 3 resistant starch by cooking and cooling potatoes, rice, pasta, legumes, and corn.
When three world-class doctors independently reference the same Stanford study, you know it's significant. The research showed that adding fermented foods to your diet enhances gut microbiome health in just ten weeks while decreasing inflammatory proteins in the blood. Dr. Will Bulsiewicz explains that microbes in fermented foods "create new vitamins, create new forms of fiber, and transform polyphenols," making these foods nutritional powerhouses. In fact, outside of vegetables, fermented foods were the number one dietary addition recommended by health experts on my podcast. They're one of the best ways to decrease inflammation (the root of many health conditions) and improve microbiome health throughout the body.
My habit of touching boulders during hikes might seem strange, but connecting with nature this way actually benefits our microbiome. Dr. Whitney Bowe explains that "healthy skin is not squeaky-clean skin"-our obsession with antiseptic hygiene disrupts our skin's barrier and microbiome. This applies to all our body's microbiomes, including skin, oral, nasal, genital, and gut. Dr. David Strachan's groundbreaking 21-year study following 17,000 children found that kids from large families where someone was always sick and households with less rigorous sanitation had lower rates of autoimmune disease later in life. This doesn't contradict germ theory-we still want to avoid acute illness from pathogens-but we need to protect our microbiomes to prevent chronic autoimmune conditions.
I advocate for an additive approach to health rather than the restrictive methods often disguised as wellness. Diet culture frequently demonizes entire food groups with promises of flat bellies, but most foods in moderation aren't problematic for most people. Gastroenterologist Dr. Will Bulsiewicz rarely suggests avoiding entire food groups, explaining, "The gut is like a muscle. It can be trained and strengthened, but if you stop using it, it will grow weaker." If you're sensitive to certain foods like beans, he recommends staying below your threshold and gradually introducing them in moderation-similar to how exercise applies healthy stress that ultimately makes you stronger. Rather than elimination, he focuses on strengthening the gut to handle diverse foods.
Chapitre 11
Resilience Building: Navigating Life's Challenges
Annie Murphy Paul explains that our bodies often can't differentiate between certain emotions like anxiety and excitement-they produce the same physical sensations. The power lies in how we interpret these sensations. Rather than trying to suppress feelings, we can reframe them: anxiety can become excitement, stress can be viewed as a challenge rather than a threat. This isn't about toxic positivity, but recognizing our brain's power to interpret physiological signals differently. For example, when facing stress, focus on your resources to cope-your knowledge, character, community, or experience-to transform threat into challenge. This reframing is a powerful neurological tool that produces real-world results.
After experiencing severe anxiety and agoraphobia, Liz discovered that stabilizing her foundation was crucial to recovery. Psychologist Dr. Julie Smith identifies five pillars of mental health: social connection, good nutrition, routine, sleep, and movement. These basics are often the first things we neglect when struggling, yet they're essential to mental wellbeing. Liz recommends keeping these pillars on a visible checklist as a first line of defense when not feeling your best. If you're feeling down, check which pillar might need attention-text a friend for connection, cook a veggie-packed meal for nutrition, recommit to structure if routines have slipped. "No matter what really complex, amazing therapy techniques you have," Dr. Smith explains, "if you don't have the foundations there, it's like trying to hold sand in your hands."
You've probably heard of gratitude practices, but have you tried a resilience practice? When I spoke with death doula Alua Arthur, she insisted we're all stronger than we think. Humans are masters at managing the unknown-we adapt constantly to circumstances from dead phone batteries to breakups to becoming parents. Start by writing down times you've been resilient, whether small (powering through fatigue to meet a deadline) or significant (surviving a painful breakup or medical journey). Reflect on the resilience you've already demonstrated. Going forward, acknowledge moments of resilience as they happen. You can face more than you think-you already have.
We obsess over things we need to do while ignoring what we've already done, creating disproportionately negative feelings about our productivity. Our brains evolved to focus on threats and future tasks, not celebrate achievements, leaving us feeling burnt out on a never-ending treadmill. Productivity expert Chris Bailey recommends creating an accomplishments list. Weekly, write down everything you've accomplished across different life contexts (work, home, family) and roles. I keep a running list on my phone, adding items as I complete them-whether finishing a book draft, planning a birthday party, or posting on social media. Before planning my next week, I reflect on these accomplishments, which helps counter feelings of worthlessness and provides a productivity boost. We do more than we think. We are more than we think.
Many of us struggle with a sense of instability and lack of safety in today's world. While many factors are beyond our control, psychologist Dr. Susan David suggests we can become a secure base for ourselves through practical actions. David explains that we all have a five-year-old inside tapping us on the shoulder saying, "See me," and asking for what they need-rest, spontaneity, or connection. Simultaneously, we have an older, wiser self (15-20 years older than our current age) offering perspective and guidance. This concept, called continuity of self, helps when we feel stuck or untethered. By connecting with our child self, we acknowledge our feelings and needs; by connecting with our adult self, we align with our values and gain perspective. Despite growing up surrounded by psychology, I resisted the idea that my present problems stemmed from childhood needs. But I've learned that gently asking "What would make the child inside me feel safe?" works better than logical explanations or self-shaming.
