What is *Come As You Are* by Emily Nagoski about?

*Come As You Are* explores female sexuality through neuroscience and psychology, debunking myths about arousal, desire, and orgasm. Dr. Emily Nagoski introduces the Dual Control Model (accelerators and brakes) to explain sexual response and emphasizes how context, emotions, and culture shape intimacy. The book empowers readers to embrace their unique sexual “personality” and challenges outdated norms.

Who should read *Come As You Are*?

This book is essential for women seeking to understand their sexuality, partners aiming to improve intimacy, and educators/therapists addressing sexual health. It’s also valuable for anyone navigating body image issues, stress-related sexual challenges, or cultural shame around desire.

Is *Come As You Are* worth reading?

Yes—it’s a *New York Times* bestseller praised for blending rigorous science with compassionate storytelling. Awards include Goodreads’ Top 5 Science Books and Book Riot’s Best of 2015. Readers call it “transformative” for its sex-positive, inclusive approach.

What is the Dual Control Model in *Come As You Are*?

The Dual Control Model frames sexual response as a balance between “accelerators” (stimuli that spark arousal) and “brakes” (inhibitors like stress or negative body image). Nagoski argues that individualized brake management—not just boosting accelerators—is key to fulfilling intimacy.

How does *Come As You Are* explain arousal non-concordance?

Arousal non-concordance refers to the disconnect between physical arousal (e.g., lubrication) and mental arousal. Nagoski clarifies this is normal, citing studies showing only 10% of women’s physiological responses align with subjective desire—a critical insight for reducing performance anxiety.

What role does cultural context play in *Come As You Are*?

Nagoski critiques society’s “sex-negative” messaging that pathologizes women’s desires. She explains how myths like “spontaneous desire = normal” harm self-perception and provides tools to reframe sexuality within personal values rather than external expectations.

How does *Come As You Are* address stress and sexuality?

Stress acts as a primary “brake” by keeping the nervous system in fight-or-flight mode. The book offers evidence-based strategies to complete the “stress cycle” (e.g., physical activity, affection) before intimacy, enhancing emotional and sexual wellbeing.

What are the main criticisms of *Come As You Are*?

Some readers find the scientific depth overwhelming, while others desire more LGBTQ+ inclusivity. A minority critique its heteronormative examples, though the 2023 revised edition expands gender-neutral language and updated research.

Come As You Are Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

Come As You Are

Emily Nagoski

4.28 (82088 Reviews)

Health Relationship Psychology Mindfulness

Überblick

Wichtige Erkenntnisse

Autor

Häufige Fragen

Revolutionizing female sexuality, "Come As You Are" reveals why every woman's pleasure is unique as a fingerprint. This NYT bestseller dismantles myths, explains how stress impacts desire, and offers science-backed validation that's changed countless readers' lives. What's blocking your sexual wellbeing?

Entdecke Deine Art zu Lernen

Kurzfassung10Min

Erlebe das Buch durch die Stimme des Autors

Vertiefung42Min

Verwandle Wissen in fesselnde, beispielreiche Erkenntnisse

Lernkarten11 Erkenntnisse

Erfasse Schlüsselideen blitzschnell für effektives Lernen

Spaß26Min

Genieße das Buch auf unterhaltsame und ansprechende Weise

Bestes Zitat aus Come As You Are

When we recognize that all human genitals are made of the same parts organized differently, we realize there's no "right" or "wrong" way for our bodies to be.

Entdecke Deine Art zu Lernen

Come As You Are ist nicht nur ein Buch — es ist eine Meisterklasse in Health. Um Ihnen zu helfen, die Lektionen auf die für Sie beste Weise aufzunehmen, bieten wir fünf einzigartige Lernmodi an. Ob Sie ein Tiefdenker, ein schneller Lerner oder ein Geschichtenliebhaber sind, es gibt einen Modus, der zu Ihrem Stil passt.

Kurzfassung

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Lektionen aus Come As You Are erzählt in 26-Min Geschichten

Erleben Sie Come As You Are durch lebhafte Erzählungen, die Innovationslektionen in unvergessliche und anwendbare Momente verwandeln.

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"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

Von Columbia University Alumni in San Francisco entwickelt

BeFreed vereint eine globale Gemeinschaft von 1,000,000 wissbegierigen Menschen

Erfahren Sie mehr darüber, wie BeFreed im Web diskutiert wird

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

Starten Sie Ihre Lernreise, jetzt

Diese Zusammenfassung herunterladen

Erhalten Sie die Come As You Are-Zusammenfassung als kostenloses PDF oder EPUB. Drucken Sie es aus oder lesen Sie es jederzeit offline.

Come As You Are

Emily Nagoski

4.28 (82088 Reviews)

Health Relationship Psychology Mindfulness

Überblick

Wichtige Erkenntnisse

Autor

Häufige Fragen

Entdecke Deine Art zu Lernen

Kurzfassung10Min

Erlebe das Buch durch die Stimme des Autors

Vertiefung42Min

Verwandle Wissen in fesselnde, beispielreiche Erkenntnisse

Lernkarten11 Erkenntnisse

Erfasse Schlüsselideen blitzschnell für effektives Lernen

Spaß26Min

Genieße das Buch auf unterhaltsame und ansprechende Weise

Bestes Zitat aus Come As You Are

When we recognize that all human genitals are made of the same parts organized differently, we realize there's no "right" or "wrong" way for our bodies to be.

Mehr wie dieses

6 sources

When Arousal Feels Impossible: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self

Better Sex Through Mindfulness

Lori A. Brotto

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Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

Overcoming Body Image Issues in the Bedroom

How Eye Gazing Can Increase Connection & Sexual Intimacy

6 sources

From Insecure to Irresistible: Sexual Confidence Unleashed

Understanding and Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

6 sources

Unlock Your Sexual Confidence Revolution

Wichtigste Erkenntnisse

Your Sexuality Isn't Broken-The Map Is

00:00

Here's a startling truth: only 30% of women reliably orgasm from intercourse alone. If you're among the other 70%, you've probably wondered what's wrong with you. The answer? Absolutely nothing. For decades, science approached female sexuality as a slightly defective version of male sexuality, assuming women should experience spontaneous desire, that physical arousal should match mental interest, and that vaginal penetration should reliably produce orgasm. These assumptions weren't based on how women's bodies actually work-they were based on treating male sexuality as the default setting. This fundamental misunderstanding has left countless women feeling broken when they're actually completely normal. Understanding how your unique sexuality functions isn't about fixing yourself; it's about recognizing that you've been handed the wrong instruction manual. Cultural scripts act as "maps" of sexuality, often unreliable ones. When our actual experiences don't match these maps, we try to force our experiences to fit rather than updating our maps. When the map doesn't match the terrain, the map is wrong, not your body.

The Hidden Architecture of Pleasure and Desire

Your Sexual Accelerator and Brakes

When Context Changes Everything and Bodies Disagree with Minds

The Stress That Steals Desire

The Myth of the Sex Drive

Come as You Are

Entdecke Deine Art zu Lernen

Kurzfassung

Zusammenfassung von Come As You Are in 10 Minuten

Zerlegen Sie die Kernideen von Come As You Are in leicht verständliche Punkte, um zu verstehen, wie innovative Teams kreieren, zusammenarbeiten und wachsen.

00:00

Lernkarten

Top 11 Erkenntnisse aus Come As You Are auf einen Blick

Destillieren Sie Come As You Are in schnelle Gedächtnisstützen, die die Schlüsselprinzipien von Offenheit, Teamarbeit und kreativer Resilienz hervorheben.

Spaß

Lektionen aus Come As You Are erzählt in 26-Min Geschichten

Erleben Sie Come As You Are durch lebhafte Erzählungen, die Innovationslektionen in unvergessliche und anwendbare Momente verwandeln.

00:00

Personalisieren

Erleben Sie Come As You Are auf Ihre Weise.

Fragen Sie alles, wählen Sie die Stimme und erschaffen Sie gemeinsam Erkenntnisse, die wirklich bei Ihnen ankommen.

Von Columbia University Alumni in San Francisco entwickelt

BeFreed vereint eine globale Gemeinschaft von 1,000,000 wissbegierigen Menschen

Erfahren Sie mehr darüber, wie BeFreed im Web diskutiert wird

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

Von Columbia University Alumni in San Francisco entwickelt

BeFreed vereint eine globale Gemeinschaft von 1,000,000 wissbegierigen Menschen

Erfahren Sie mehr darüber, wie BeFreed im Web diskutiert wird

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

Starten Sie Ihre Lernreise, jetzt

Diese Zusammenfassung herunterladen

Erhalten Sie die Come As You Are-Zusammenfassung als kostenloses PDF oder EPUB. Drucken Sie es aus oder lesen Sie es jederzeit offline.

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Summary

Overview of Come As You Are

Similar books to Come As You Are

Bestes Zitat aus Come As You Are

Kurzfassungs-Modus - Lesen oder hören Sie die Zusammenfassung von Come As You Are in 10 Minuten

Lernkarten-Modus - Top 11 Erkenntnisse aus Come As You Are auf einen Blick

Spaß-Modus - Lektionen aus Come As You Are erzählt in 26-Min Geschichten

Personalisieren-Modus - Lesen oder hören Sie die Zusammenfassung von Come As You Are in 0 Minuten

Come As You Are PDF herunterladen

Come As You Are EPUB herunterladen

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Summary

Overview of Come As You Are

Similar books to Come As You Are

Bestes Zitat aus Come As You Are

Mehr wie dieses

Wichtigste Erkenntnisse

Your Sexuality Isn't Broken-The Map Is

The Hidden Architecture of Pleasure and Desire

Your Sexual Accelerator and Brakes

When Context Changes Everything and Bodies Disagree with Minds

The Stress That Steals Desire

The Myth of the Sex Drive

Come as You Are

Kurzfassungs-Modus - Lesen oder hören Sie die Zusammenfassung von Come As You Are in 10 Minuten

Lernkarten-Modus - Top 11 Erkenntnisse aus Come As You Are auf einen Blick

Spaß-Modus - Lektionen aus Come As You Are erzählt in 26-Min Geschichten

Personalisieren-Modus - Lesen oder hören Sie die Zusammenfassung von Come As You Are in 0 Minuten

Come As You Are PDF herunterladen

Come As You Are EPUB herunterladen

Mehr wie dieses

Wichtigste Erkenntnisse

Your Sexuality Isn't Broken-The Map Is

The Hidden Architecture of Pleasure and Desire

Your Sexual Accelerator and Brakes

When Context Changes Everything and Bodies Disagree with Minds

The Stress That Steals Desire

The Myth of the Sex Drive

Come as You Are