Explore how our reactions to events are shaped not by what happens, but by the gap between reality and our deeply-rooted values and expectations that begin forming in infancy.

Our reactions aren't really about what happens to us, but about the gap between what happens and our personal set of values, assumptions, and expectations. Understanding that your brain is a prediction machine gives you the power to choose how you want to act in that moment between stimulus and response.
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Lena: Hey there, welcome to Mindscape! I'm Lena, and this is my friend and fellow behavior enthusiast, Miles. Today we're tackling a question I think we've all asked at some point: Why do people act the way they do?
Miles: It's such a fundamental question, isn't it? And the answer is surprisingly complex. You know what fascinates me? The fact that when we observe the same event, you and I might have completely different reactions to it.
Lena: Right! Like when someone cuts us off in traffic - I might get furious while you just shrug it off. What's happening there?
Miles: Exactly. According to research from the University of Virginia, there's actually a model that explains this. It's not just about the event itself, but about the comparison between what we observe and our personal set of values and assumptions about how the world should work.
Lena: Wait, so you're saying our reactions aren't really about what happens to us, but about the gap between what happens and what we think should happen?
Miles: That's it! And these values and assumptions - what researchers call our "VABEs" - Values, Assumptions, Beliefs, and Expectations - start forming in the first few months of life with five fundamental questions: When I'm cold, am I made warm? When I'm hungry, am I fed? And so on.
Lena: That's fascinating. So our earliest experiences actually create these deep patterns that affect how we react to things decades later?
Miles: Absolutely. And here's where it gets really interesting - let's explore how these early patterns create what psychologists call "holes" in our personalities that we spend our entire lives trying to fill.