第 1 章
The Power of Possibility: Unlocking Your Path to Success
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly rise above challenges while others remain stuck in cycles of frustration? Shiv Khera's transformative bestseller "You Can Win" offers a compelling answer: the difference lies not in what happens to us, but in our attitude toward what happens. This international phenomenon has sold millions of copies worldwide and continues to be a favorite among business leaders like Richard Branson and motivational speakers like Tony Robbins. What makes this book particularly remarkable is how it distills timeless wisdom into practical, actionable steps that have helped transform ordinary individuals into extraordinary achievers across cultures and generations. Unlike many self-help books that promise quick fixes, Khera's approach focuses on building a foundation of character and positive attitude that creates lasting success in every area of life.
第 2 章
The Foundation of Success: Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude
Success isn't measured by the absence of problems but by how effectively we overcome them. A Harvard study revealed that 85% of job success comes from attitude, while only 15% stems from intelligence and specific knowledge. Yet paradoxically, almost all educational resources focus on that 15%, largely ignoring the critical component that actually determines our trajectory in life.
What's inside us-our attitude-ultimately determines how far we go. William James of Harvard University discovered that humans can fundamentally alter their lives by changing their attitudes. This isn't just positive thinking; it's about developing a mindset that seeks solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
Building a positive attitude requires awareness, desire, and disciplined practice of key principles. Adults must take responsibility for their attitude choices rather than blaming external factors for failures. The eight-step process for attitude transformation begins with changing focus to look for the positive in people and situations. Like Andrew Carnegie who looked for gold rather than dirt when dealing with people, we must become "gold diggers" who actively seek out positivity.
The second step emphasizes doing things now rather than procrastinating. Completed tasks energize while incomplete ones drain energy. Life offers no "rewind button," making it essential to utilize the present fully. The third step involves developing gratitude by counting blessings rather than troubles, which keeps us grounded without becoming complacent.
Step four stresses continuous education that combines intellectual knowledge with values and character development. True education trains both head and heart-knowledge without character can be dangerous, like "an uneducated thief stealing goods from a train while an educated one steals the entire train." Education involves cultivating strengths, self-discipline, and eagerness to learn.
Other essential steps include building high self-esteem (often by helping those who cannot repay you), avoiding negative influences, learning to embrace necessary tasks, and starting each day with something positive. These practices, when consistently applied, transform our mindset from problem-focused to solution-oriented, from pessimistic to optimistic, from reactive to proactive.
The difference between winners and losers becomes clear in their approach to life: Winners see possibilities in difficulties; losers find difficulties in every possibility. Winners admit mistakes; losers blame others. Winners make commitments; losers make promises. Winners believe in win/win scenarios; losers think someone must lose for them to win.
第 3 章
Defining True Success: A Journey, Not a Destination
What exactly is success? Earl Nightingale defined it as "the progressive realization of a worthy goal"-a journey rather than a destination, an internal experience rather than external validation. Success means different things to different people: wealth, recognition, good health, family harmony, happiness, satisfaction, or peace of mind. The key is that success is an ongoing process, not a final destination.
True success has three essential components: it's progressive (an ongoing journey), it's realized (internally experienced), and it requires worthy goals (aligned with values). Progressive means we never truly arrive but continue moving forward. Realization means success is felt within, not imposed externally. Worthiness comes from our value system, which determines the quality of our journey.
Many obstacles block the path to success, both real and perceived. These range from ego and low self-esteem to lack of planning and commitment. Other barriers include fear of failure, procrastination, financial insecurity, and trying to please everyone. As Bill Cosby noted, "the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
The winning edge comes from striving for excellence, not perfection. Like a racehorse that wins by just a nose but receives ten times the reward, we don't need to be dramatically better than competition-just slightly better across many areas. It's easier to improve one percent in a hundred different areas than a hundred percent in one area.
Life's struggles can become either tragedies or triumphs depending on how we handle them. Like a butterfly that must struggle to emerge from its cocoon to develop strong wings, our challenges strengthen us. When we help others avoid necessary struggles, we may inadvertently harm them. Nothing worthwhile comes without effort-those who overcome obstacles develop greater security than those who've never faced challenges.
Success isn't measured by comparing ourselves to others but by our feeling of accomplishment and achieving our objectives. It's about competing against ourselves, constantly improving our own performance. Behind every success story lies numerous failures. From Abraham Lincoln's multiple political defeats before becoming president to Thomas Edison's thousands of failed light bulb attempts, great achievers persevered through setbacks. The difference is that they failed forward-learning and advancing with each setback.
第 4 章
The Essential Attributes of Achievement
Success requires specific qualities that form the foundation for lasting achievement in any field. These attributes work together synergistically, creating a framework for excellence that transcends circumstance.
First comes desire-the burning motivation that fuels achievement. As Napoleon Hill wrote, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." Like needing air underwater, true desire creates unstoppable momentum. A weak desire produces weak results, while intense desire becomes the starting point of all accomplishment.
Commitment built on integrity forms the backbone of success. There's a profound difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. Winners play with enthusiasm and commitment, conditioning themselves for victory, while those playing not to lose operate from weakness and fear. Winners thrive under pressure while others collapse.
Responsibility means accepting accountability for outcomes. People with character make decisions and determine their own destiny, taking calculated risks even when uncomfortable. Responsible people don't expect the world to owe them anything. When things go wrong, they face challenges directly rather than playing the blame game.
Hard work remains irreplaceable. Mark Spitz's seven gold medals at Munich came after training 10,000 hours-nearly eight hours daily for four years. Most want to win but few will pay the price to prepare. Success isn't accidental but requires preparation, character, sacrifice and self-discipline. Professionals make things look easy because they've mastered fundamentals through relentless practice.
Character combines integrity, respect and responsibility, from which all positive behaviors flow. True character shows in being humble without being subservient, maintaining self-discipline, and never building oneself by destroying others. Ability gets you success; character keeps you successful.
Positive thinking and believing work together-positive thinking means being solution-focused, while positive believing means having reason to believe you'll succeed based on preparation. Muhammad Ali exemplifies this: while mentally conditioning himself as "the greatest," he was also training rigorously.
Success comes easily to those willing to give more than what they're paid for. Most people either don't want to do what they're paid for or only do the minimum. Those who give extra make themselves more valuable, gain confidence, earn trust and respect, and generate cooperation.
Persistence-the bounce-back ability-might be the single most important quality for success. As Calvin Coolidge noted, talent, genius and education alone won't bring success; persistence is omnipotent. The journey to excellence is filled with setbacks, but winners persist with greater resolve.
Pride in performance requires effort but gives the winning edge. It represents high standards with humility, not ego. The quality of work and worker are inseparable, and halfhearted effort produces no results.
Finally, finding a mentor provides invaluable guidance. A mentor's hindsight can become your foresight, helping you navigate challenges more efficiently and avoid common pitfalls.
第 5 章
Removing the Brakes: What Holds Us Back from Excellence
Our emotional brakes-fear, procrastination, lack of pride-prevent us from achieving success. The way to release these brakes is by building a positive attitude, realizing self-worth and accepting responsibility.
Among the twenty factors causing failure, several stand out as particularly limiting. Unwillingness to take calculated risks keeps many from seizing opportunities. While gambling blindly is foolish, risk-taking based on knowledge, training, and competence gives you confidence to act despite fear. People who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing and become nothing.
Lack of persistence causes many to quit when victory might be just around the corner. When problems seem insurmountable, quitting looks like the easiest way out. Winners are struck but not destroyed. Failing doesn't mean we are failures-it's merely an event, not an identity.
Our age of instant gratification has people seeking shortcuts and overnight success. When going for immediate pleasure, one never thinks of consequences. With limited vision focused on short-term gains, you'll never see worthwhile goals. There are no quick fixes or one-minute solutions to happiness.
Setting priorities is crucial to success. What good is making millions if you lose your health, family, or conscience? Our priorities reflect our values. When priorities aren't right, we waste time-and time wasted is life wasted.
Selfishness and greed destroy potential. Greed is like salt water-the more you drink, the thirstier you get. It's a cancer of the soul destroying relationships. Greed stems from low self-esteem, manifesting as false pride or keeping up appearances.
People without conviction take the middle road and get run over. They lack confidence and courage, conforming to get accepted even when they know the group is wrong. Success comes from being FOR something rather than against it.
Most people spend more time planning parties than planning their lives. Preparation means tolerating failure but never accepting it-having courage to face defeat without feeling defeated. We must learn from mistakes, admit them quickly, not make excuses, not dwell on them, and never repeat them.
Winners may analyze and sympathize but never rationalize-it's a loser's game. People make endless excuses: being too young, too old, not educated enough, lacking contacts or time. But in life, reasons don't count-only results do.
Fear-real or imaginary-makes people do strange things. It paralyzes, immobilizes, and creates insecurity, lack of confidence and procrastination. Remember FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear of failure is often worse than failure itself-people who don't try have already failed before attempting.
Without self-discipline, we pay the price of regret. People without discipline try everything but commit to nothing. Self-discipline requires self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions. Like steam that only moves engines when confined, power comes from focus and consistency.
A lifetime goal gives meaning to life. Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Without purpose and direction, people cannot see opportunities. Success follows when someone has desire, knows their destination, moves with focus, dedication and discipline.
第 6 章
The Power of Motivation: From Inspiration to Action
Motivation is the driving force that moves us to action. While inspiration changes thinking, motivation changes behavior. The most powerful motivation comes from within our belief system. When we accept responsibility for our actions, our attitude becomes positive, making life more meaningful.
Understanding what causes motivation helps you motivate yourself and inspire others. Internal motivation-your drive and attitude-is contagious. Auto-suggestion-positive statements made in present tense and repeated regularly-is an important tool for staying motivated and focused.
Motivation comes in two forms: external and internal. External motivation comes from outside sources like money, societal approval, fame, or fear. Fear motivation works quickly and prevents losses by meeting deadlines. However, it's temporary, causes stress, limits people to minimum compliance, and destroys creativity. Incentive motivation works when incentives are strong enough-like a donkey with a dangling carrot. The disadvantage: remove the incentive and motivation drops.
The greatest motivator is belief. People will do much for money, more for good leaders, but most for beliefs-even die for them. Internal motivation comes from inner gratification-the fulfillment from having done something worthwhile. It's lasting because it comes from within, driven by responsibility, accountability, ownership, and pride in performance.
Employees typically move through four motivation stages during employment. First comes "Motivated Ineffective" when new hires are eager but unskilled. Next is "Motivated Effective" when employees perform with energy and skill. Third comes "Demotivated Effective" when motivation drops but performance remains adequate-employees do just enough to avoid firing. Finally, "Demotivated Ineffective" employees must typically be terminated.
People become demotivated through negative thinking or negative environments. Key demotivators include lack of training, unfair criticism, rewarding non-performers, failure or fear of failure, favoritism, complacency from success, unclear objectives, lack of appreciation, and workload imbalance.
The ultimate goal is self-motivation-when people act for their own reasons rather than yours. The greatest motivator is belief in personal responsibility. When people accept responsibility, everything improves: quality, productivity, relationships and teamwork.
第 7 章
Building Self-Esteem: The Foundation of Personal Power
Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, affecting our productivity, relationships, and worldview. High self-esteem comes from self-acceptance and self-worth, making one feel secure, poised, and internally driven. It's not about being egoistic but accepting oneself with strengths and weaknesses.
Just as a pumpkin placed in a glass jar grows only to the jar's size and shape while others reach their full potential, people cannot perform beyond the boundaries of their self-concept. Self-esteem significantly determines success or failure-people with high self-esteem grow in conviction, face life optimistically, build better relationships, and perform better.
High self-esteem provides confidence without arrogance, creates willingness to accept responsibility, builds optimism, improves relationships, increases motivation and ambition, opens one to new opportunities, enhances performance and risk-taking, makes a person trustworthy, dependable, productive, and secure.
Low self-esteem manifests through numerous behaviors: egoism, hypocrisy (wearing false masks), touchiness (taking everything personally), arrogance, excuse-making, blame-shifting, fatalism, vulgarity, and compromising values. People with low self-esteem judge others by possessions rather than character. They're argumentative, unforgiving, lack empathy, seek sympathy, and exhibit escapist behaviors.
Those with high self-esteem talk about ideas rather than people, show caring attitudes versus critical ones, display humility not arrogance, and respect authority rather than rebel against it. They have courage of conviction versus going along to get along, confidence versus confusion, and concern for character over reputation.
Building high self-esteem requires understanding what causes low self-esteem, which begins forming from birth through our feelings about ourselves that others reinforce. Negative self-talk involves telling ourselves statements like "I have a poor memory" or "I'm not good at math." These statements reinforce negativity by adversely conditioning the subconscious mind, eventually becoming self-fulfilling prophecies.
Upbringing significantly impacts self-esteem. For children to develop well, parents should spend twice the time and half the money. Parents with high self-esteem naturally instill confidence in their children through positive beliefs and values. Children look to parents, teachers, and other authority figures as role models during formative years, absorbing their examples whether positive or negative.
Unfair comparisons damage self-esteem by making people feel inferior. Comparing siblings' career choices is unfair; comparing effort levels is fair. People with high self-esteem compete against themselves, not others, measuring performance against their own capabilities and past achievements rather than others' accomplishments.
Success breeds success while failure breeds failure. Each failure lowers self-esteem, making subsequent failures more likely. Smart coaches rebuild champions' confidence by arranging victories against progressively stronger opponents. With each success, self-confidence rises, making further success easier.
第 8 章
Creating Positive Relationships: The Key to Lasting Success
Building positive relationships is crucial to success, as most business problems are actually people problems. People deal with us not because we're the smartest, but because they feel comfortable with us-they care more about how much we care than how much we know.
Life returns what we give to others-our thoughts, actions and behaviors come back with great accuracy. As Benjamin Franklin said, "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself." Goodness naturally returns, even without expectation.
Numerous factors undermine relationships, including selfishness, broken commitments, rudeness, unrealistic expectations, conflicting values, dishonesty, arrogance, negative attitudes, poor listening skills, jealousy, impatience, and manipulative behavior.
Ego, the greatest obstacle to positive relationships, is self-intoxicating and creates arrogance. While healthy pride comes with humility and gives a "swollen heart," ego gives a "swollen head." An egocentric person believes the world revolves around them, often talking down to others.
Selfishness operates on the principle "For me to win, the world has to lose," while self-interest believes "For me to win, the world doesn't have to lose. We can both win together." Selfishness destroys relationships through negative win-lose thinking, while self-interest builds them through positive win-win approaches.
A wise man told two different travelers they would find the same kind of people in his village as in their previous villages-when one described people as "mean and cruel," and the other as "kind and courteous." Our perception of the world reflects our own nature and attitude more than objective reality.
While we cannot directly change others' behavior toward us, we can influence it by changing our own behavior. Most people's responses are reactions to how we treat them, giving us indirect power to shape interactions through our own conduct.
Building a positive personality requires accepting responsibility, showing consideration, and adopting a win-win mindset. It demands careful word choice, constructive criticism, and genuine smiling. By listening attentively, maintaining enthusiasm, giving sincere appreciation, and gracefully handling mistakes, we create relationships that enrich both ourselves and others.
Consideration demonstrates a caring attitude toward others. Like the ten-year-old boy who left his waitress a tip from his limited funds before even ordering his ice cream, thoughtfulness shows sensitivity to others' needs before our own.
The parable of heaven and hell illustrates win-win thinking perfectly: both places had tables of food with people whose hands were tied to four-foot utensils. In hell, people starved trying to feed themselves; in heaven, they thrived by feeding each other across the table. When we serve customers, family, employers and employees, we automatically win too.
第 9 章
Values and Vision: The Compass for Meaningful Success
Our task is not to fix blame for the past but to fix the course for the future. When we die, we should leave the world rejoicing in our contribution while mourning our departure. Little acts of kindness become most powerful after we're gone, when others realize their true impact.
Gandhi identified seven deadly sins: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, religion without sacrifice, and politics without principle. To test your values, apply three tests: the Mama Test (would your mother be proud seeing what you're doing?), the Baba Test (would you want your children to see you doing this?), and the Headline Test (would you be proud if your actions became tomorrow's headline?).
With constant exposure, what was once intolerable becomes acceptable and eventually leads to involvement, with justification occurring throughout this transition. Before criticizing younger generations' declining morals, we should examine who's to blame. Values aren't hereditary but learned, requiring us to prioritize positive influence.
Money isn't the payoff for every kind of work-parents raise children without expecting paychecks. Many people have lots of money yet remain poor in spirit. Our goal should be both having money and being rich in values. Hard work teaches the value of money, a lesson parents must impart to children.
Sometimes our greatest blessings come disguised as disappointments. When our values aren't clear, getting what we want can become the greater tragedy. King Midas's story illustrates this perfectly-his wish for the golden touch initially seemed wonderful until he couldn't eat, drink, or embrace his daughter without turning them to gold.
Alfred Nobel's accidental reading of his own obituary describing him as "the merchant of death" transformed his legacy. Shocked by how he would be remembered, Nobel redirected his life toward peace, eventually establishing the Nobel Prizes. This story challenges us to consider our own legacy: How will we be remembered? Will we be missed? Will we leave the world better than we found it?
A purposeless life is a living death. Purpose brings passion, which should be pursued with perseverance. We must ask daily: "Am I getting closer to my purpose? Am I making the world better?" If not, we've wasted a day. Life rewards us proportionally to our contribution. Once our purpose and values become clear, conflicts between self-interest and social obligations find moral balance.
True winners prioritize values over victories. Lawrence Lemieux abandoned an Olympic yacht race to save a competitor in trouble-losing the race but winning worldwide respect for embodying Olympic spirit. Similarly, Reuben Gonzales forfeited a world championship match he'd officially won after realizing his winning shot was faulty. When asked why, he explained that integrity mattered more than the medal: "I would rather deserve a medal and not have it, than to have it and not deserve it."
Winning a medal doesn't make you a winner, nor does losing make you a loser. What matters is deserving honor, not just possessing it. The real test of character is what someone would do even if they knew they wouldn't get caught. Winners compete fairly and squarely, understanding that dishonest victories may bring trophies but never fulfillment or happiness.
People fail to achieve excellence primarily due to lack of vision. We must dream beyond what seems possible, remembering that everything we see today was once just a dream. Living with enthusiasm, direction and purpose means moving closer to your dreams each day. Remember: Winners don't do different things, they do things differently!
