LORD, I WANT TO BE WHOLE

《LORD, I WANT TO BE WHOLE》摘要

1. 1

   When the Past Won't Let Go

   

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   A woman stands at the edge of a cliff, ready to end her life at twenty-eight. She's tried everything-meditation, therapy, relationships, substances-yet nothing has freed her from the relentless voice in her head repeating, "You're worthless." This was Stormie Omartian's reality before discovering a pathway out of emotional prison that would eventually transform millions of lives. What she learned challenges our assumption that emotional wounds simply heal with time. They don't. They require intentional, deliberate action-and her story maps the way forward. Picture being locked in a closet under the stairs by your own mother, hearing her screams that you're stupid, worthless, nothing. These weren't isolated incidents but the daily soundtrack of childhood. When trauma becomes your normal, it doesn't stay in the past-it constructs an invisible prison that travels with you into adulthood. This explains why Omartian's depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-destructive patterns persisted despite desperate attempts at relief. The bars of her prison weren't made of steel but of deeply embedded beliefs about herself and the world. Unlike a broken bone that gets immediate medical attention, emotional injuries often remain untreated for decades, quietly destroying us from within.

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   The Foundation of Emotional Freedom

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   Emotional health remains elusive because we can't see the damage-no X-ray for shattered self-worth, no blood test for unprocessed grief. Yet it's as tangible and achievable as physical fitness, meaning total peace about who you are, what you're doing, and where you're going. Omartian's seven-step pathway offers a reliable way of living: releasing the past through forgiveness, living in obedience to truth, finding deliverance from bondage, seeking restoration, receiving transformative gifts, rejecting harmful patterns, and standing strong through storms. Her breakthrough came through an uncomfortable assignment: write down every sin God brings to mind, then forgive everyone who hurt you-especially your mother. During prayer with her counselors, she felt a distinct physical release from her head, neck, and shoulders. Her chronic headache vanished. New strength flooded her body. The next morning, for the first time in memory, she woke without depression or suicidal thoughts.

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   The Transformative Power of Forgiveness and Mental Discipline

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   Forgiveness isn't a feeling-it's a decision made out of obedience, often before emotions catch up. Omartian had to repeatedly choose forgiveness after each verbal assault from her mother. Unforgiveness is like carrying bags of garbage everywhere you go-the heavier they get, the weaker you become. The turning point came when she prayed for God's heart for her mother. She received a vision of her mother as God created her to be-a beautiful, gifted woman whose tragic past had twisted her. Compassion replaced hatred. Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right-it makes you free. After learning she wasn't mentally ill but mentally oppressed, Omartian discovered she could take charge of her thoughts. When tormenting images invaded her mind, she would declare aloud, "I will not be controlled by negative thoughts," renouncing them in Jesus' name. Relief came quickly when she resisted negative thoughts and praised God instead. We can never achieve emotional healing while losing mental battles. Filling your mind with truth through Scripture and worship music drowns out negative voices.

4. 第 4 章

   Breaking Free from Darkness and Physical Neglect

   Omartian discovered she needed to renounce past occult practices-Ouija boards, horoscopes, meditation techniques, and eastern religions. Though she hadn't considered these significant since becoming a Christian, her counselor explained they require specific renunciation to break their hold. After confessing and renouncing all occult involvement, she felt an electric-like sensation pulse through her body, followed by release from an invisible vice. The occult derives power from darkness rather than light. We cannot align with both darkness and God simultaneously. During her teens and twenties, intense negative emotions triggered numerous stress-related illnesses-skin problems, headaches, infections, allergies. Months before finding faith, she developed mouth sores so severe she could barely eat or speak. A doctor diagnosed severe vitamin B deficiency and warned her to address the stress "before it kills you." Within minutes of that first injection, her symptoms eased. This revealed a crucial truth: we cannot have emotional health without physical health. God created our bodies, souls, and spirits as an integrated whole. Seven physical factors must remain in balance: managing stress by identifying emotional pain; improving nutrition by avoiding processed foods; exercising regularly-even ten minutes of daily walking positively affects emotional state; drinking adequate water; incorporating prayer and fasting; spending time in fresh air and natural sunlight; and getting enough deep, refreshing sleep during which the body cleanses and repairs itself.

   第 5 章

   The Creative Power of Words and True Deliverance

   Our words hold creative power. Just as God spoke the world into existence, we shape reality through what we say. Omartian constantly declared, "I'm a failure," "I'm ugly," "Nobody cares about me"-until confronted with Proverbs 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Despite years of therapy, she still lost her voice during speaking engagements. When she complained, "I'll never be able to speak right," God showed her she was bringing death to her situation. By declaring Scripture truths and praising God, her situation transformed. We often speak what the enemy whispers: "You're a failure. You'd be better off dead." Or we repeat hurtful words: "You're worthless. You'll never amount to anything." The Bible warns we're "snared by the words of our mouth"-including our silent self-talk. When speaking about yourself, use words of hope, health, encouragement, life, and purpose. Deliverance isn't frightening-it's becoming all you were made to be, removing past brokenness so the real you can emerge. If you've received Jesus and are filled with the Holy Spirit, you cannot be demon possessed. However, Satan can cause "demon oppression"-a torment God wants to release you from. Seven steps lead to deliverance: confessing unconfessed sin; renouncing what isn't of God; forgiving; speaking joyful proclamation; praying with truth; praising God; and walking accordingly afterward.

   第 6 章

   Standing Strong Through Life's Storms

   When life's storms hit simultaneously-losing her best friend to cancer, undergoing surgery, facing financial strain, experiencing marriage difficulties-Omartian felt overwhelmed. "God, it feels as if my life is coming to an end," she cried. The Lord responded: "Now let Me take this burden from you. You just stand strong in all you know of My truth, and I will take care of everything." Total wholeness requires declaring what you believe, how you'll live, and what you will and won't accept. Scripture promises: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." Even when doing everything right, depression or relationship problems can suddenly resurface. This isn't regression-it's enemy attack. When walking with Jesus, you never go backward. Scripture promises we go "from glory to glory" when our eyes remain on Him. Sometimes suffering comes from foolish choices, satanic attack, or disobedience. Other times, God uses it to refine us. He remains God in both darkness and light. Sometimes darkness isn't death but a womb where we're growing before birth. Isaiah promises "treasures of darkness"-valuable spiritual experiences only found in dark times. Never let circumstances make you turn from God-He sees you and will sustain you.

   第 7 章

   Your True Identity Revealed

   Growing up isolated, Omartian heard her mother's cruel words daily: "You're worthless! You're nothing! You're stupid!" Without positive reinforcement, she believed these lies. The truth is God created each of us to be somebody-no life is an accident in His eyes. High self-esteem means seeing yourself as God sees you: a unique person with specific gifts and purpose. When lies surface, deliberately thank God for positive qualities: "Thank you that I can walk, talk, see, prepare meals..." As we praise God specifically, His presence brings transformation. If someone has told you "You're hopeless," recognize the enemy behind those words. Tell Satan, "I refuse your lies. I have worth and purpose." Seven truths God says about you: You are a child of God with an inheritance; you have a special, God-ordained purpose; you have been created with a specific calling; you are never alone; you are loved; and you are a winner. The Bible affirms: "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." Your past doesn't define you. Your pain doesn't disqualify you. Your mistakes don't limit you. The voice that told you you're worthless was lying. The emotional prison that held you captive has a door-and you've been given the key.

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