What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?: Discover a Life Filled with Purpose and Joy

Résumé de What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

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   The Question That Transforms Everything

   

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   "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" This question, displayed prominently on Facebook's walls, struck Michal Oshman like lightning on her first day at the tech giant. Despite impressive credentials - military leadership, multiple degrees, executive positions - she had been living with crippling anxiety that manifested in constant catastrophic thoughts and physical symptoms. This simple yet profound question became the catalyst for her transformation. Drawing from 3,000-year-old Jewish teachings, Oshman discovered a framework for addressing very modern issues of anxiety, purpose, and belonging. Her journey reveals that sometimes ancient wisdom offers the freshest perspective on our contemporary struggles. When we confront the question of what lies beyond our fears, we begin to see that our limitations are often self-imposed - invisible chains we've wrapped around our own potential. Conventional therapy focused on childhood traumas - exposure to death through her father's work as a forensic pathologist, inherited trauma from Holocaust survivor grandparents. This approach normalized feelings but created a limiting cycle of reopening wounds without healing them. Her breakthrough came from Jewish wisdom, particularly the concept of "neshama" (soul) - related to the Hebrew word for "breath" - suggesting every human possesses a divine flame needing nurturing. The Tanya describes the soul as "comparable to the flame of a candle which continually flickers upwards." This powerful metaphor helped her see anxiety not as a disease but as part of the human condition - the beautiful struggle of a soul yearning to grow beyond its current state.

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   Finding Purpose Beyond Self-Focus

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   Viktor Frankl discovered in concentration camps that meaning comes from what life expects from us, not what we expect from life. Rabbi Shneur Zalman taught to ask "what am I needed for?" rather than "what do I need?" This shift from self-focus to external purpose helps overcome anxiety. Jewish wisdom teaches "bittul" - self-nullification - which means emptying yourself of self-focus to make space for something greater. Rather than suggesting worthlessness, bittul shows how being full of yourself blocks purposeful living. Oshman experienced this while volunteering as a "big sister." Focusing on someone else's needs rather than her own anxieties brought unexpected fulfillment. When we use our talents for others' benefit, we find purpose that dispels fear. The Hebrew word for "me" (ani) shares letters with "nothingness" (ain), revealing how we are both everything and nothing. Rabbi Simcha Bunim advised keeping two notes - "The world was created for me" and "I am but dust and ashes" - to balance self-importance with humility. Purpose begins with identifying your strengths and evolves through different phases, often revealed through redirecting disappointments.

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   Crossing Life's Narrow Bridges

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   Oshman's grandmother Chana, who escaped a train bound for Auschwitz, suffered from Nazi-themed nightmares and anxiety about global suffering that later manifested as panic attacks. In London, she heard men singing "Gesher Tzar Me'od" - a Jewish song teaching that while life is a narrow bridge, the key is to live without fear. Based on Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's wisdom, it suggested that while we can't change life's circumstances, we can transform ourselves. Jewish tradition prioritizes action over analysis. The Israelites demonstrated this by declaring "Na'ase v'nishma" ("We will do, and we will hear") when receiving the Torah. Following this wisdom, Oshman began lighting Shabbat candles despite hesitation. Three weeks of practice connected her to herself and her heritage. Trust, another narrow bridge, underpins effective teamwork. Though fragile, the journey starts with believing in your team's capacity for trust. Oshman learned to embrace her anxieties and use action to overcome fear.

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   The Wholeness of Broken Hearts

   At twenty-three, Oshman's unexpected breakup revealed a profound Jewish wisdom: "There is nothing more complete than a broken heart." She discovered that growth emerges from broken places, where wisdom forms beautiful imperfection. Rather than seeking restoration, she integrated her brokenness into who she became - ultimately leading her to her husband and a fuller self. Viktor Frankl demonstrated this in Auschwitz, finding meaning through love for his wife. After learning of her death, his grief transformed into purpose through sharing his insights, guided by his principle: "Despair equals suffering without meaning." Jewish wisdom acknowledges the eternal struggle between good inclination (yetzer tov) and bad (yetzer hara) as essential to growth. When Moses broke the Ten Commandments tablets, the broken pieces were preserved alongside the new ones - symbolizing how brokenness and wholeness coexist. At Jewish weddings, breaking a glass reminds couples that breaks often lead to greater strength.

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   Creating Space for Others to Flourish

   We often dominate conversations out of fear and ego - talking over others, offering unsolicited advice, and failing to listen. This behavior stems from fear of appearing ignorant or losing control, ultimately limiting diversity of thought and stunting relationships. The Hebrew concept of "tzimtzum" (contraction) offers wisdom here. Rabbi Isaac Luria taught that God contracted His infinite light to make room for the world. This divine act of self-limitation shows how stepping back creates space for others to grow. Oshman learned this in her marriage when she stopped constantly asking her husband's whereabouts during calls. Once she created space, he naturally began sharing more. After twenty years together, they practice tzimtzum by stepping back when needed. Though counterintuitive, making space for others - whether in personal relationships or professional settings - leads to better outcomes and deeper fulfillment through humility.

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   Building Cultures of Belonging

   Oshman faced workplace discrimination throughout her career - from being told to straighten her curly hair to enduring mockery about her Jewish identity. At a networking meeting, a colleague's comment about her "Jewish nose" reinforced that success meant hiding her authentic self. Her experience at Facebook marked a striking contrast when her manager showed genuine interest in her identity, even sending weekly "Shabbat Shalom" texts after learning she was Jewish. These small gestures powerfully demonstrated inclusion. Honest conversations, though sometimes uncomfortable, build trust. She uses the "one percent tool" for constructive feedback, while Facebook's "Fail harder" motto helped reframe failure as growth. Creating an inclusive culture means showing people they can be authentic - whether flawed, quirky, or passionate - without fear of judgment.

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   The Journey Back to Your Essence

   At forty-one, Oshman decided to have a fourth child despite widespread objections. Jewish wisdom had transformed her - fear now lived beside her, not inside her. At her daughter's birth, she felt she had given birth to both her baby and a new version of herself. A parable tells of a boy explaining to a traveler seeking Jerusalem's Temple: "The shortest way is often the longest way and the longest way is often the shortest." Like this man, we seek quick fixes, but shortcuts rarely work. "Teshuva," meaning "return" rather than just "repentance," is about returning to your true essence. Jewish wisdom teaches that each morning when our souls are restored, we can do teshuva - assessing our path and moving forward with purpose. The question "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" isn't about eliminating fear but living fully despite it. By reconnecting with our essence and finding purpose beyond ourselves, we transform fear from paralysis to partnership.

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