
Tired of the yelling cycle? "Screamfree Parenting" - a New York Times bestseller by therapist Hal Runkel - teaches parents to pause before reacting. Dr. Harvey Karp calls it "simple, smart, and effective." What if your calmness is actually the key to raising amazing adults?
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Has your teenager ever made you so angry that you said things you immediately regretted? Or perhaps your toddler's public meltdown left you screaming in a parking lot, wondering who the real child was in that moment? Here's an uncomfortable truth: every time we lose our cool with our kids, we're essentially handing them a remote control to our emotions and begging them to press all the buttons. This isn't just bad parenting-it's a complete surrender of the very authority we're trying to maintain. The revolutionary insight at the heart of this approach flips conventional wisdom entirely: the best thing you can do for your children isn't to focus more intensely on them, but to focus more intentionally on yourself. We've been taught that good parenting means constant vigilance over our children's behavior, choices, and emotions. We believe we're responsible for making them happy, successful, and well-adjusted. But this creates an impossible burden where we feel responsible FOR our children rather than TO them. This distinction changes everything. Being responsible "for" someone creates codependency and anxiety; being responsible "to" them creates healthy boundaries and mutual respect. Our emotional reactivity becomes our worst enemy in relationships. When we react from anxiety, we regress to immature functioning-often behaving more childishly than our children.
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Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco
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