Asshole No More by Xavier Crement Summary
Overview of Asshole No More
Transform your toxic behaviors with "Asshole No More," the underground bestseller used in police training and recovery programs worldwide. Dr. Xavier Crement's journey from proctology to psychiatry birthed this surprisingly humorous guide that asks: Could your difficult personality be sabotaging your relationships?
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Points clés
The Asshole Epidemic: Understanding Toxic Behavior
Have you ever left a conversation fuming, wondering what's wrong with someone who seems determined to make your life miserable? Dr. Xavier Crement offers a startling diagnosis: they're suffering from assholism, an addiction as serious as alcoholism. This addiction to power, control, and self-importance manifests as deliberately obnoxious behavior that wreaks havoc in relationships and workplaces. The term "asshole" carries therapeutic value precisely because clinical terms lack its rich associations. While ordinary people feel offended by the label, actual assholes often wear it proudly - they need a term that makes everyone laugh at them. Like alcoholism, recovery begins with admission: "I am an asshole." Assholes excel at ensuring someone's always around to serve their needs, developing sophisticated systems of manipulation. They operate under the core belief that everyone exists solely to meet their demands, becoming visibly annoyed when others demonstrate independent thinking. Since they shirk responsibility and ignore reality, they maintain absurdly high self-esteem through elaborate self-deception. As psychologist Charles Cumberbund observes, "If the Queen of England were to inspect the prison and walk by an asshole's cell, he would believe she was lucky to have met him." Communication becomes their most sophisticated weapon. They've mastered the art of saying little while appearing comprehensive, strategically withholding crucial information until after failure occurs. This allows them to add "clarifications" later, making others look incompetent while positioning themselves as the only capable person in the room. Their toolkit includes subtle blame-shifting, strategic bullying, habitual lying (often so convincing they believe themselves), fact-twisting, and artfully changing subjects when others feel victimized. Anger isn't just an emotion - it's their finely-tuned instrument of control, keeping others perpetually off-balance.
The Asshole Spectrum: From Flaming to Passive-Aggressive
Specialized Toxic Types: When Assholes Find Their Niche
When Organizations Go Toxic: Institutional Assholism
Survival Strategies: Navigating Relationships with Difficult People
The Recovery Journey: From Asshole to Human Being
The Promise of Transformation: Finding Connection Again
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Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco
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"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
Cree par des anciens de Columbia University a San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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