Chapitre 1
The Voice Within: Timeless Wisdom for Modern Life
In a world increasingly dominated by noise, materialism, and disconnection, Robert Lawrence Smith's "A Quaker Book of Wisdom" offers a refreshing counterpoint. This deeply personal exploration of Quaker principles has become something of a quiet phenomenon among those seeking authentic guidance in our chaotic times. The book draws from Smith's experience as both a descendant of centuries of Quaker ancestors and as the former headmaster of Sidwell Friends School, whose alumni include the children of presidents and influential leaders. While not as flashy as typical self-help bestsellers, this thoughtful work has developed a devoted following among readers seeking substance over style. Its enduring appeal lies in its radical simplicity: the notion that within each person lies an "inner light" capable of guiding us toward our best selves if only we would pause long enough to listen.
Chapitre 2
The Sacred Power of Silence
In our cacophonous world where noise bombards us constantly, silence has become a rare commodity. Yet for Quakers, silence isn't merely the absence of sound-it's the foundation of spiritual wisdom. The Quaker tradition teaches that only in silence can we hear the "still small voice" within that guides our actions and allows our lives to speak authentically.
This commitment to silence wasn't always peaceful. Early Quakers were revolutionaries who challenged authority by refusing oaths, military service, and church taxes. They rejected social hierarchies, believing every person contained "that of God" and therefore deserved equal treatment. They scandalized society by using the informal "thee" and "thou" with everyone regardless of status-a radical egalitarianism that violated social norms reserving these terms for addressing inferiors.
Their passionate conviction often led to persecution. George Fox, Quakerism's founder, endured eight imprisonments and numerous beatings. Many early English Quakers, including the author's ancestor Thomas "The Settler" Stokes, emigrated to America seeking religious freedom. Yet even in the New World, persecution followed-four Quakers were hanged in Boston. Despite this, Quakerism eventually flourished in America because its core values of equality, perfectibility, freedom of worship, and direct relationship with God aligned perfectly with emerging American democratic ideals.
The power of silence extends beyond religious practice into everyday life. Smith recalls childhood moments of shared silence-grace before meals, quiet chess games with his grandfather, silent reading by the fireplace during family vacations-that created islands of peace and connection. These moments weren't merely absences of noise but presences of something deeper: a communion with self and others that modern life has largely crowded out.
The beauty of silence is that its benefits are available to anyone. Whether in a morning shower, a solitary commute, or a deliberate pause in our day, the key is receptivity to what Quakers call the "inner light." In silence, we discover the divine that speaks uniquely to each of us, guiding us through life's most challenging crossroads if only we have the courage to listen.
Chapitre 3
The Radical Simplicity of Quaker Worship
Quakerism defies easy categorization because it's defined more by what it lacks than what it contains. Traditional Quaker worship has no theology, dogma, sacred books, or creed. There's no minister, liturgy, or religious imagery. Quakers reject original sin and the concept of a personal God who rewards and punishes. They don't baptize, and their weddings are simple exchanges of vows within the Meeting for Worship. Despite Christian roots, Quakers focus on finding truth within oneself and living simply with love and service.
The Meeting-both the place of worship and the service itself-embodies this radical simplicity. Worshippers enter silently, sitting on spare wooden benches with eyes downward or closed to "center" themselves. Believing each person has direct access to God, they worship in silence, waiting for divine guidance. Those moved to speak stand and deliver their message. After about an hour, the Meeting concludes when someone at the "head" shakes hands with those nearby, symbolizing the shift from inner reflection to reconnection with the outside world.
Smith vividly recalls his childhood Meetinghouse in Moorestown-a typically simple, unadorned space with plain wooden benches. His ancestors converted to Quakerism during George Fox's time in England, fled persecution, and settled near Burlington, New Jersey in 1677. Two and a half centuries later, Smith was born twelve miles away in Moorestown, a predominantly Quaker town where extended family lived close together and regularly attended First Day (Sunday) and Fifth Day (Thursday) Meetings.
First Day Meeting formed the cornerstone of Moorestown life, with Smith's grandfather, a country doctor, sitting at the head and ending the Meeting with his handshake. As a child, Smith sat between his parents near the back, acutely aware that nothing seemed to be happening during the long silences. What was happening, he later understood, was a spiritual potluck where each person brought something personal and sacred.
His grandmother's prayers, delivered after much bench-creaking as she knelt, were brief but uplifting. Other memorable speakers included William Bacon Evans, who wore old-fashioned Quaker garb and spoke elliptically, and Master William Overman, whose dramatic swaying and emotional delivery often caused Smith's father to quietly groan.
Traditional Quaker Meeting is essentially an experiment in religious anarchy where all authority is vested equally in members. Each Meeting is a gamble that more depth, insight, and truth will emerge than was brought in. As headmaster at Sidwell Friends School, Smith often prepared messages for weekly Meetings, seeking "the best that can be thought" to share with students and teachers.
While all Meetings differ in style and focus, fundamentally they're the same: a group gathers in expectant silence, waiting for divine inspiration. Meeting is a moveable feast of the spirit, with truth always waiting like an old friend.
Chapitre 4
Truth as a Way of Life
If we hope to be guided by an inner light, how do we distinguish the "true" voice among competing internal voices of self-interest, vanity, and pleasure? The answer lies in George Fox's optimistic vision of human nature. If there is "that of God" in everyone, then truth is the best within us-the part naturally drawn toward good. When we listen for this truth, our lives begin to "speak" it.
Common sense serves as our tool for distinguishing truth. Though hard to define, we recognize it when we see it. Just as we instinctively know the difference between right and wrong, we each possess the capacity to apprehend truth about ourselves and our world.
Early Quakers proclaimed "The truth is the way, and the way is the truth," making truth central to worship and daily life. Quakers believe truth restores souls and empowers actions, serving as both guide and liberator. They embrace John's radical concept that "the truth shall set you free"-free from meaninglessness, lovelessness, and egocentricity.
The search for truth involves seeking, recognizing, speaking, and living truth through an interactive process requiring openness and discipline. Quakers use "queries"-questions like "Do we observe simplicity in everyday life?"-to prompt self-examination, serving as burrs under the saddle of the soul.
Meetings for Business, conducted as "Meetings for Worship with a concern for business," begin with queries followed by silence. Decisions emerge through "sense of the Meeting" rather than voting, with the clerk discerning when the group reaches "clearness." The process of reaching decisions is as important as the decisions themselves.
Speaking truth bridges the silent search for truth and authentic living. Quakers refuse to take oaths, believing there shouldn't be two standards of truth. Some stories illustrate this commitment, like the farmer who said a sheep was "shorn on the side facing the road" or Underground Railroad participants who avoided lying while helping escaped slaves.
In today's cynical society where truth seems incidental, Quakers maintain that speaking truth has profound practical implications-it allows us to be true to our best selves and is the first step toward living authentically.
Truth-telling simplifies life practically. The person committed to honesty needn't decide in each situation whether to lie, and avoids the burden of remembering falsehoods. Yet truth presents dilemmas when it conflicts with love-sometimes complete honesty can be ruthless or destructive, as when revealing painful medical news to fragile loved ones.
The search for truth is available to all through the "inner light" within each person. We must turn toward this light to illuminate our path. Truth isn't merely conceptual but must be married to deeds. As Walt Whitman wrote, truth is "Whatever satisfies the soul"-distinguishing what we truly desire from what merely attracts us.
Chapitre 5
The Freedom of Simplicity
For Quakers, simplicity is truth's twin virtue-seamlessly intertwined concepts that cannot exist separately. Without simplicity of spirit, we cannot receive truth; without acting on truth, we cannot let our lives speak. The Quaker concept of simplicity isn't about forsaking worldly goods or retreating to a bygone era, but rather a reliable standard akin to moderation that becomes a way of life. It's about freeing oneself to pursue the impulse to do good in the world.
In our consumer culture, shopping malls have become virtual community centers where we seek escape from boredom and emptiness. Yet acquiring too much stuff often leads back to that very emptiness, corrupting values and obscuring our best selves. Many parents struggle with balancing children's marketing-induced materialism against teaching them not to confuse things with love.
Smith recalls his own childhood jealousy of wealthier cousins' possessions, while his own grandchildren understand that "to be a Quaker means to be simple." Parents must get their priorities straight and demonstrate fulfillment beyond material acquisition-children learn from observation, not lectures.
Smith's grandfather exemplified true simplicity despite apparent affluence. After sumptuous Sunday dinners, he would take the family to discover tiny botanical marvels in the Jersey pinelands-teaching that life's real treasures aren't possessions but recognizing and sharing small miracles in our midst. Simplicity helps us "live to the point"-clearing away distractions to keep first things first, giving ordinary life extraordinary meaning.
Imagine how different our lives might be if we approached each purchase with the question: "Will this thing help me live to the point?" Rather than asking if we can afford something, we might ask if it will bring us closer to our truest selves or further away. This simple shift in perspective can transform our relationship with material goods from one of accumulation to one of intentional choice.
Chapitre 6
The Lonely Path of Conscience
Growing up in a protective Quaker community, Smith understood that "letting your life speak" carried solemn responsibility for action. He believed his religion would provide all necessary guidelines for becoming the person he hoped to be, surrounded by role models of unquestioned integrity. In his childhood worldview, Quakers stood firmly with the "forces of light" against darkness.
But in 1936, at age twelve, world events began shaking his secure universe. Hitler marched into the Rhineland, Mussolini invaded Ethiopia, and wars erupted across the globe. Smith confronted a question he'd never considered: What would he do if America went to war?
The Quaker answer seemed clear-since there is God in every person, one cannot harm or kill anyone, even in national defense. William Penn had written, "Force subdues, but love gains." This directive of nonviolence had been absorbed throughout his life.
Yet eight years later, Smith found himself a private in an infantry company marching toward the Battle of the Bulge. He describes encountering a destroyed German tank, being accidentally strafed by American planes, carrying ammunition through sniper fire, and witnessing the aftermath of battle-dead Germans who "looked very much like us" and the devastation of Grandmenil.
Smith realized he had missed a fundamental Quaker message-that conscience comes from the "still small voice" within, not from parents, teachers or books. George Fox had emphasized "following the light" of individual conscience. The sound of warplanes flying toward England in 1941 became his first "alarms of conscience" as he confronted the reality that Hitler was "a brutal murderer who must be opposed" and fascism represented the "ocean of darkness" he was taught to resist.
Despite his Quaker upbringing, the decision to join the military came surprisingly easily. His conscience was clear about opposing monstrous aggression. To him, he was becoming "a true Quaker, a person of conscience joining with the forces of light against darkness." He also had less noble motivations-impressing cousins and proving independence from his protective family.
After combat, Smith found himself ill-prepared for peace. Unable to readjust to Harvard, he dropped out to join a Quaker work camp in Europe, feeling more at home among war's devastation than in the Ivy League. War had taught him unexpected lessons: his essential aloneness, the limits of his knowledge, the wrongness of judging others, and that right and wrong aren't absolutes.
More than half of draft-eligible Quaker men served in World War II, a higher percentage than in any previous war. Smith believes both those who served and those who were conscientious objectors "did the right thing"-following their individual conscience. Conscience, he concludes, can be scary and lonely but ultimately liberating, making us "answerable only to the God that is in you."
Chapitre 7
The Radical Power of Nonviolence
Smith begins with a childhood memory illustrating the practical challenges of Quaker nonviolence. As a small boy, he was terrorized by older boys who knew he'd been taught not to fight back-making nonviolence seem "highly impractical" compared to the movie heroes quick with fists or guns.
Nonviolence has always been the most paradoxical and optimistic of Quaker ideals. While violence and war have been viewed as inevitable throughout human history-from Cain and Abel to Heraclitus's belief that "all things come into being and pass through strife"-Quakers have maintained their "peace testimony" as the spiritual heart of their practice for over three centuries.
This commitment stems from Jesus's radical instruction in the Sermon on the Mount to "turn the other cheek," with George Fox adding the Quaker perspective that since each person contains divine spark, violence against any person is violence against God. But Quaker nonviolence isn't merely passive refusal-it's a springboard for active peacemaking and pursuit of justice, one of Quakerism's greatest contributions to society.
Throughout history, Quakers have suffered for their pacifism-from imprisonment for refusing militia service in the 17th century to the difficult choices during the American Revolution and Civil War. Modern expressions include the Nobel Prize-winning American Friends Service Committee, lobbying through the Friends Committee on National Legislation, civil disobedience, withholding "war taxes," and even emigration to Costa Rica after it disbanded its army in 1948.
Smith acknowledges fighting in World War II but has supported Quaker pacifism in subsequent political conflicts. He notes that the desire for peace exists in all world religions, with Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. demonstrating that nonviolence can succeed against powerful adversaries. For Quakers, nonviolence is "an inseparable part of our very being"-an act of love that begins with looking inward to discover truth and love, then outward to address social injustice.
Despite the complexities of modern life making peacemaking seem elusive, Quakerism remains optimistic about human perfectibility. Smith suggests beginning with our own lives-confronting our capacity for hostile thoughts and actions. Whether changing the world in our backyard or globally, love is the only necessary tool. For parents, this means countering children's natural attraction to violence through family intimacy and modeling nonviolent conflict resolution.
Smith reflects on his dilemma as a Quaker school headmaster during Vietnam, wanting students to make personal choices about their response rather than following teachers' views. He concludes that nonviolence combines idealism with pragmatism, noting that each person can be a peacekeeper through simple acts of love that have profound impact on those around us.
Chapitre 8
Business with a Conscience
Quaker business philosophy stands in stark contrast to today's corporate ethos. As one Quaker businessman put it: "One may deal with things without love; but you cannot deal with men without it." This simple statement encapsulates the Quaker approach to commerce-one that views profit and social responsibility as interdependent rather than opposing forces.
While modern corporations focus primarily on stockholder value, the Quaker business model seeks cooperation while competing, viewing workers and customers as partners rather than adversaries. Quaker businesses hold themselves accountable to employees, customers, community, and conscience-a quadruple bottom line that predates modern corporate social responsibility by centuries.
The Philadelphia Quartz Company exemplifies this approach. Founded in 1833 by Smith's relatives, it emphasized equality by referring to all employees by initials, providing equal bonuses, establishing widow/widower benefits, pension funds, and profit-sharing plans decades before such practices became common. Their correspondence always began with "Respected Friend"-a small but significant acknowledgment of human dignity in business relationships.
Smith argues that trust is fundamental to business success-manufacturers who make false claims damage customer relationships, while employers who treat workers fairly earn loyalty that translates to productivity and innovation. Despite modern business pressures for quick profits, the Quaker approach to business as cooperative service remains relevant and increasingly validated by research showing that ethical companies often outperform their less scrupulous competitors.
Even as commerce becomes increasingly impersonal through chains, catalogs and internet shopping, the human components remain unchanged. The growing presence of business ethics courses in top graduate schools suggests mainstream acceptance that ethical practice is good business-a principle Quakers have understood for centuries.
Every business transaction-whether as employer, employee, or customer-presents an opportunity to "let our life speak" through our choices. When we choose to patronize businesses that treat workers fairly, when we insist on honest dealings in our professional lives, when we prioritize integrity over expediency, we participate in the Quaker tradition of commerce with conscience.
Chapitre 9
Education of the Whole Person
Smith's journey to becoming a headmaster fulfilled a childhood dream expressed in a letter to his former headmaster. When he arrived at Sidwell Friends School, he felt he was upholding the distinguished tradition of Quaker education dating back to 1668-a tradition that has produced some of America's most innovative educational practices.
Quakers established the first coeducational schools in America, believing women needed the same education as men. By 1750, there were nearly as many Quaker schools in the colonies as exist in the entire country today. Quakers also founded schools for free Blacks, emancipated slaves, and Native Americans long before such education was widely available, as well as prestigious colleges like Haverford, Earlham, and Swarthmore that continue to rank among America's finest liberal arts institutions.
As headmaster during the turbulent 1960s, Smith faced challenges including disputes over dress codes and mandatory Quaker Meeting attendance. Despite student rebellion, he found that many later valued Meeting as their most meaningful school experience. He learned that sometimes authority figures must say "no" despite the Quaker tendency toward compromise-a lesson in balancing idealism with practical leadership.
Smith believes Quaker education is valued for its continuous community improvement, diversity, coeducational environment, and periods of silence that help center students. Community service requirements, experimental education approaches, and teacher autonomy in curriculum design are other hallmarks that have influenced mainstream education. He emphasizes that liberal arts remain the heart of intellectual education, and that great teachers should be given freedom to teach creatively rather than following rigid standardized approaches.
Perhaps most importantly, Smith concludes that education is a lifelong process that begins at home, with parents serving as children's first and most influential teachers. The Quaker educational model recognizes that learning happens not just through books but through example, through silence, through service, and through the practice of seeking truth in community-a holistic approach that educates not just the mind but the spirit.
Chapitre 10
The Enduring Power of Family Bonds
Smith begins by describing his wedding to Eliza in a redwood forest at Muir Woods. Following Quaker tradition, they exchanged simple vows in the presence of friends and family during a Meeting for Worship. The ceremony embodied Quaker principles of simplicity and equality, with no clergy officiating-the couple married each other with divine guidance.
Their meeting itself reflected Quaker values in action. Smith met Eliza in rural Mexico where she worked with the American Friends Service Committee while he volunteered at a Quaker work camp. Though not a Quaker herself, Eliza embodied Quaker values of service and "letting your life speak." They reconnected when she invited him to help run an American Friends Service Committee project in North Richmond, California-a slum area where they worked to repair houses and build community relationships.
After fifty years of marriage, Smith reflects that husband and wife are "like a work of art being created over time." He believes Quakers have a particular talent for family life, emphasizing "connectedness" as the essence of family values. The Quaker family maintains solidarity despite disagreements, avoiding family feuds that can destroy relationships across generations.
Smith describes his own sheltered but happy childhood in a Quaker family that valued frugality, moderation, and simplicity. His parents created security through simple pleasures like Friday night drives to look at boats and singing together in the car. Despite his wife Eliza's later struggle with severe rheumatoid arthritis, their enduring bond has helped them face adversity together, reminding him of Shakespeare's sonnet: "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds."
The Quaker approach to family life offers wisdom for all families, regardless of faith tradition. By prioritizing connectedness over material success, by creating rituals of togetherness that cost little but mean much, by modeling the values we hope to instill rather than merely preaching them, we create family bonds that can withstand life's inevitable challenges. In a world where families are increasingly fragmented by technology, mobility, and competing demands, this emphasis on intentional connection offers a path toward more meaningful family relationships.
Chapitre 11
Letting Your Life Speak: Wisdom for the Journey
A legacy is defined as a gift from those who came before us. Though Quakers comprise only a tiny percentage of Americans-just over 120,000 today-their ideas and ideals have permeated our social and political culture. Their influence comes not from political power but from nourishing our common humanity and connecting with our best instincts and highest aspirations.
The most important Quaker legacy is the conviction that we're all interdependent and responsible for each other. Quakerism offers vital reminders: there is God in each of us; we possess an inner guiding light; truth is the way; and "trying what love can do" can have unimagined consequences for good. Friends demonstrate that expressing high ideals means nothing unless people put them into action through love.
Smith distills his lifetime of Quaker wisdom into ten life lessons that apply to people of all backgrounds:
1. Seize the present - Make the most of every day rather than living on fast-forward or dwelling in the past. The present contains all there is; it is holy ground.
2. Love yourself and the world despite their flaws - Loving yourself means knowing yourself, and loving the world lets you see it anew as our imperfect shared home.
3. Stop talking and listen to what you really know - Trust your mind, instincts and common sense to discover who you are.
4. Play team sports - They teach readiness, composure under pressure, appreciation of different people, persistence, and graceful winning and losing.
5. Accept that our lives are only partly in our own hands - Character is measured by how we deal with circumstances beyond our control.
6. Believe in perfectibility - Resist cynicism, embrace optimism, and have faith in what people can achieve.
7. Make your love visible through work - Express your moral voice through healing, service, and siding with light against darkness.
8. Seek justice in the world but not in your own life - Don't get hung up on personal unfairness; work with what you have.
9. Look for God's light in every person - The challenge that defines our humanity is seeing the divine in others.
10. Let your life speak - Listen for truth, then let the best in you direct your actions. Your true identity is how you conduct your affairs.
As America seems to have lost faith in itself, Quakerism's timeless optimism about the perfectibility of people and institutions has enduring value. We must bring an unswerving belief in the sacredness and dignity of ordinary life to make our lives speak. In a world increasingly dominated by cynicism, materialism, and division, these simple Quaker principles offer a path toward a more authentic, connected, and meaningful existence-not just for individuals but for society as a whole.
